How to not be an oblivion npc

Learn how to act normally infront of humans.

Introduction to acting normal

Have you ever walked up to someone only to have them leave in horror due to your facial contortions and slurred speech? Well this is the right guide for you. In this guide you will learn how to act in a socially acceptable manner, leading to an improved life, due to you having many human friends, all in just 2 easy to follow steps!

Step 1: acknowledgment

The first step to correcting your life style is to deduce what exactly needs to be changed. To do this you will need a few things:

• video camera
  
• legs (for walking/standing)
  
• trench coat
  
• any kind of adhesive (tape recommended)
  
• I-beam
  
• iron plate
  
• welder
  
• industrial stapler

Now that you have gathered all necessary items for the experiment, follow these steps:

1. tack weld the I-beam to the aluminum plate

2. adhere the camera to the non welded side of the beam

3. staple the plate to the front of the trench coat

4. find a human by walking forward, if you hit a wall turn right

5. once a human is located activate the camera and start recording

6. converse with the human

7. analyze footage

Once you realize what you did wrong you are ready for step 2

step 2: action

Now that you know what is wrong you can attempt to fix it by using common sense, for example: if people are frightened by your eyes wear sunglasses below you can see how this man fixed his appearance with only a pair of sunglasses. Another amazing example of an npc turned human is the man pictured below. He used to be an Argonian, but with a little bit of makeup and a wig, he almost looks completely human. This paired with his excellent mimicry of human emotion is truly inspiring for all of the npcs of the world. His invention "facebook" gathered data and personal information from its users to create an accurate and believable persona for him to use, and you can use it too! Just go to: facebook.com/humanpersonalitycalculator

This man is the shining example for npcs everywhere, and his charitable acts will be remembered by the ncp community for years to come.

Closing thoughts

Remember that it is always possible to become human, and all you have to do, is never be yourself.

points donations are appreciated

[Helios]

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[lumberjack]

Anyone got any cats?

[xkillerxdeath]

Error server unreachable 5Axxxxxxxxx92

[Rosebay]

instructions unclear, created a spell that lets me jump several miles in the air, but not survive a several mile fall. Please send help, i'm gonna h-

[EBOW-VARNA]

Instructions unclear, when someone asks me about rumors I say " I understand the fighters guild has been recruiting, not a bad way to make some money if you've got the stones for it"

[You dare to refuse my batchall?]

Zuck is a bit out of practice though. You can tell he isn't a real human.

[joryma]

rip stalinfortime

[akselpickle]

person below sucks big nut

[Stalinfortime]

As a well adjusted human being, I can now act like an npc. Thank you.

[Tubbie]

After being called a NPC for years, I have finally acted normal. Thank you Sharkmeleon.