Bush's Board Game Thing Board Game Guide

A basic rundown on how to play the game of the podcast of the games.

Intro

This guide is here to show you how to play the board game based on the podcast about boardgames.

Bush's Board Game Thing is powered by Zatu Games and is available from all good podcast stores for the base price of free.

The game itself is a blend of Monopoly, Ludo, Mock The Week and Just a Minute; and follows the series so far of the Board Game Podcast. I have no connection with the Podcast apart from being a listener.

You will need Tabletop Simulator, the Bush's Board Game Thing mod (which includes all the rules), some means of talking (whether offline or online) and 1 to 3 friends. I'd also suggest some good snacks and drinks - but that's optional.

Choosing your players

One of the hardest things to do is have friends. find friends willing to play you at board games. These people must be willing to sit with you for a long while while pretending to enjoy your company.
Luckily, with Zoom/COVID, this has become far more easy - but there are still things to consider:

Chatterboxes: While at first they might seem to be the people not to play with, these people are less worried about what they say than simply saying it. That means justifying a low score against them is pretty easy.
Strong, Silent Types: Conversely, these people would seem to be the best to play against, but listening to 5 minutes of "Er..." will drive you to distraction.
Potential GF/BF: You will be talking rubbish to them for five minutes. If you don't feel you're able to do that without telling them how beautiful they are - then don't invite them. You will look really creepy.
Family: Regardless of how well you get along with them, this conversation will reappear some day when you least expect it.

In the end, I would suggest getting people who know you well enough to drink with, but not well enough that they can blackmail you later. The sort of people who it would be a cool idea to podcast with but despite promising to start something at the beginning of the pandemic, you never really got round to it.

Warmup

One of the easiest things to do is to speak. You can do it without thinking, and often do - but 30 seconds is a long time to babble about one subject, so do some exercises first.

- Drink something. Alcohol is very good for also freeing the artistic soul inside of you.
- Have opinions. There are very few opinions that can't be levered into a good talk - steer clear of the usual no-nos - but it's no sweat to add the latest football score into any discussion.
- Watch/listen to good shows about talking: Panel Shows, Quiz Shows even politics. Learn how to talk for hours without actually saying anything.
- Watch how easy it is to confuse someone who is trying to rant by just raising your eyebrows. No-one said you had to play strictly fair.
- Prepare your groundwork. Why are you the best? Why are you losing? Why should you be winning?
- Learn to pause. A good windup to a punchline gives you a full second to drop the punchline. That's a second you won't be penalised for - and will count.
- Listen to others. They will give you snippets of stories that you can follow on from - and if you do follow on from them, they will be less likely to mark you down.

Where to do it

One of the most aggravating things about any game is the set up. Make sure that you have the game up and running well before you start to play, so that people can draw childish things onto the board. Let them get that out of their system.

The game needs to have a clear space to talk. If you're just going to be playing the game around the table, make sure that everyone has a drink and they're all equally spaced out. If you're going to be using Discord, make sure they're all signed in.

Get your counters onto the monitor at the top left and have a nice 30 seconds alarm ready. This can be in game or just your microwave - but if you're using your microwave, don't leave anything in there. I hear they can get very hot.

Point to the first person dramatically and say "30 seconds to explain why you should go first" and start the clock. Let them babble on because the first person is likely to babble. You can then come in later when you've prepared counterpoints.

Remember though: Don't make enemies early.

Scoring

You'll notice there are an uneven number of scores. The average score is 2.5, but a good player should be able to rely on 3 every time. The thing to remember is that the only cards you get to play with are the ones dealt as scores - so storing away the single 5 in your hand can be a pro move.

The most valuable scoring card is the 2.5, as it allows you a limited choice in where you land. Therefore, it should only be used for yourself, and in situations where you want to avoid a certain square.

Equally, while the 4s and 5 are very useful at the beginning for you, they become incredibly valuable towards the end of the game against the opponent. Forcing their score over the final result immediately slows them down. For the same reason, you should keep some 0s and 1s as you go around the last bend to keep your score low enough to win with.

Winning

Playing is easy, Winning is tough. Your strategy will depend on how many players are playing.

1 other player. This is the head to head. Every score will be balanced out by the last one, so the strategy is to push your opponent onto the squares they know the least about. Simply scoring them down will get them angry, you need to be sneaky. Store some low cards and some high cards for this, and hold onto the 2.5 card as soon as you see it.

2 other players Aim to be the middle wheel. If you can get the other two to fight with each other, you have a free ride.Each time you speak, favour one side then the other. Don't rely on your cards as one will disappear - just save the ones you need until the final race.

3 other players Don't be noticed. The other three will waste all their time arguing about each other while you sneak through. Burn your cards as fast as you can as you're sure to get them back quickly.

Disclaimers

I didn't do it. You can't prove anything. Talk to my lawyer.

If you liked this instead - send me some <3 and I may make some more.

Bush’s Board Game Thing is powered by Zatu Games and made possible by The Bugle.
Board Game (c)2021 DropTable Productions. All rights reserved.