Think you've beaten Skyrim? You're wrong!

Gather around, you louzy milk-drinkers. (I'm sorry if you drink milk please don't hurt me.) You may think you've done this thing called "beating Skyrim." Beating Skyrim is a myth, kids. Grow up. I'm here to explain to you why you haven't. Heres what you need to do.

How 2 Skyrim

*Clears throat* Do the Companions main quests, Take out the Silver Hand, Do the Thieves Guild quests, restore the Guild to its former glory via radiant quests, do the Brotherhood quests, farm gold until you can fully restore the new Brotherhood HQ, do the remaining contracts from the Brotherhood, do the Greybeards quests to collect shouts, get every single Daedric artifact (even Hermaes Mora's), Do the four quests for the Divines at their temples, Join the Bards College, Join the College of Winterhold, assist everyone in the College. After maxing your Magic branches, comeplete the Master Magic quests. Join the Dawn Gaurd. Travel to Solstheim. Become Thane of all the holds.
Thats just the quests.

Become a god! Make full Daedric armor and Stahlrim weapons, apply enchantments to all of them (chaos and ice for the Stahlrim.) Then use the Alchemy-Enchanting-Smithing Loop Exploit to make them god weapons. Then test your mettle by jumping off the Throat of the World and any other suitable peaks you can find. Use Auriel's Bow to rain death to everyone you come across to increase that feeling of God Status. Then get all of the Master level spells and use them at the same time.

NAZEEM. Kill him with a soul-steal weapon and take his soul. Resurrect him with Dead Thrall. Use his soulgem to enchant a weapon with Soul Steal. Make him use this weapon to kill his own wife. Steal his wife's soul and enchant a weapon with it. Make Nazeem forever your slave duel weilding weapons containing both his wife's and his own soul. Proceed to kill Nazeem again and again in the most cruel and unusual ways possible. Take the weapon containing his soul and kill Nazeem using himself. DEATH TO NAZEEM.

Collect all the Dragon Priest masks. Collect the Dragon Claws. Comeplete "No Stone Unturned." Beat the Ebony Warrior. Perhaps you dabbled in Smithing to make armor and weapons. Try Alchemy, or Enchanting. Practice your Archery. Practice your Archery - Trickshot Edition. Get the Aetherium Crown, then use it's ability to spam the "daily" Resurrection ability you get from the standing stone and make a zombie army. Make a save, and slaughter everyone in Skyirm. Every. Last. Person. Read EVERY SINGLE BOOK. Then Alphabatize them. Shout goats off mountains. Try to find all the easter eggs (such as the headless horseman.) Steal every wheel of cheese in Skyrim. Noone may have cheese but you, the Cheese Emperor. If you haven't killed him in the Civil War, duel General Tulius until the end of time. Go on a mass stealing spree and strip every house in a city bare. Sneak all the way to Black Reach without battling Falmer. Propose to every spouse in Skyrim and leave them standing at the alter. Fist fight everyone in Skyrim. Travel around Skyrim by horse. The random places and encounters you find will suprise you. Get a bunch of monsters chasing you and lead them to a town. Start a genocide. Choose a race, and slaughter everyone of that race in Skyrim. You may not kill anyone of any other race. This is difficult as if you're seen killing someone, everyone else will attack you. Finnally, wonder why the H E C C you're still reading this.

But seriously, thanks for reading all the way though. If you have any ideas of fun things to do in Skyrim (or brutal ways to kill Nazeem) leave a comment. It means alot.

Edit: Oldrim Edition! https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1912986895

Dedicated Nazeem Guide! https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1936078137

[YETI]

turn nazeem into a vampire. turn his wife into a warewolf. have them duel :)

[YETI]

yo this is a saturday for me hahahah ^ this is like the summary of my last decade plus after work

[YETI]

perma-paralyze Nazeem via staff and have an angry poosay mudcrab pinch him to death, unless you revive some of his health justttt in time

[Spear Man]

Nazeem heh, i delete that nagger.

[Alikan]

Toss Nazeem off of the throat of the world

[LemoniusManuel]

I wonder... Is there a mod to make Nazeem respawn so that you can use his soul to kill him an infinite amount of times?

[Lethal Birb]

Now I know how to truly beat Skyrim after 11 years of playing! Thank you so much!

[Sonofdoomsday]

seems like light work

[timssillss]

Been there done that

[Textual Deviant]

Time to speedrun Nazeem%; find Nazeem as soon as possible and beat the shit out of him until there is shit to beat of him no more.