Link the faces of evil script

This is an amazing script for a game on the Philips CDI.

Intro:

Link: Gee, it sure is boring around here.
The King: My boy. This peace is what all true warriors strive for.
Link: I just wonder what Ganon is up to.
Gwonam: Your majesty. Ganon and his minions have seized the islands of Koridai
King: Hmm... How can we help?
Gwonam: It is written only Link can defeat Ganon.
Link: Great! I'll grab my stuff!
Gwonam: There is no time; your sword is enough.
Link: How about a kiss... For luck?
Zelda: You've got to be kidding.
Gwonam: Squadila! We're off!
Link: Wow! What are all those heads?
Gwonam: These are the faces of evil. You must conquer each.
Link: I guess I better get going.
Gwonam: Here! ...Is the map. Where do you wish to go?

Morshu 1:

Morshu: Lamp oil, rope, bombs? You want it? It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies.

Morshu 2:

Morshu: Sorry, Link. I can't give credit. Come back when you a little... Mmm. Richer!

Frozen woman intro:

Frozen woman: Help! Ganon froze the fountain; I'm stuck!

Frozen woman saved:

Frozen woman Here, have some Water of Life.
Link: (Gulp, gulp, gulp!)
Frozen woman My, you're thirsty! Oh my goodness!

Fisherman 1

Fisherman: Biggest crab I ever caught. Heh-heh!
Link: It's a Goma!
Fisherman: Yeah, pretty good. Here!
Link: Thanks!

Fisherman 2

Fisherman: Keep going, boy. You're doing real well. Once you get rid of Ganon, we can get back to fishing.

Fish lady

Fish Lady: Dairas came straight from the crater 'ill I boarded the vent. Used a skull for a latch and not one Dairas figured it out.

Ipo:

Ipo: I am the reader Ipo. If you bring me the book of Koridai, I will gladly read the secret verse.

Fat woman:

Fat (seductive) woman: You're not afraid of dragons. Are you?
Link: (Gulp.) Of course not.
Fat woman: Then get my necklace back from Gleeok. Okay? Pretty please?

Old man 1:

Old (yellow coat) man: It's mighty dark with all the evil about. Keep this lantern full. It will light your way.
Link: Thanks!

Old man 2:

Old man: Not many left, Link. There's Druick 'round the side of Glutko. Aye.

Ganon 1:

Gwonam: Look! What has happened!
Ganon: In the darkest nightmare hour, when the moon nor sun has risen, I take Zelda in my power. I shall keep her in my prison.

Ganon 2:

Ganon: Join me, Link! And I will make your face greatest in Koridai or else you will die!

Ganon 3:

Ganon: No! Not into the pit! It burns!

Fairy 1:

Fairy 1: You're doing great, Link!
Fairy 2: You're our hero.
Fairy 1: Here's a Life Heart.
Fairy 2: We know you can beat Ganon.

Fairy 2:

Fairy 1: You're doing great, Link!
Fairy 2: You're our hero.
Fairy 1: Here's some Water of Life.
Fairy 2: Drink, Link!

Old witch 1:

Old (ugly) witch: I may be old and ugly, but, I still know a few tricks! Bring some grapple-berries. I'll show you a good one.

Old witch 2:

Old witch: Stir the berries in the tub. Let the juices soak the glove. Let Link fight and gather cower. For his glove's a glove of power.
Link: Wow! Thanks!

Fat woman 1:

Fat woman: How sweet. (Kisses) Muah. My husband gave me this. He's an now. Here. It's not much, but, it will still carry water.

Ice queen 1:

Ice queen: Before you face the foul fiend Ganon, you must conquer Fortress Centrum. Treasure of death is hidden. Bring it to me. Be gone.

Ice queen 2:

Ice queen: This shield, both sword and spear deflects, but, cannot stop the villainous curse. This crystal makes the shield reflect cursing the curser with twice the curse.

Goronu 1:

Gwonam: Look! And see Goronu.
Goronu: Wake up, sleepy bones. I'm the living anti cut ner vial throats. Bwuh-ha-ha...

Goronu 2:

Goronu: I may be hideous, but, after a year of being frozen, you will beg to join me.

Goronu 3:

Link: Hey, Zelda. Wake up!
Goronu: What? Link? You saved me!

Goronu 4:

Goronu: You can't kill me! No, no, no...!

Harliquin 1:

Gwonam: See how Harliquin capture Koridians?
Computer: You lose.
Koridian: (Sniffles)
Harliquin: Do you know what it means when lose your last ruby?! (Snort.) Now you will work for me! (Snort.) Take him away! (Snort.)

Harliquin 2:

Harliquin: I say your chances are a million to none, but, let's have fun! Anyway!

Harliquin 3:

Harliquin: Now you see me. Now you don't!

Harliquin 4:

Harliquin: Ah! Ah-ha... Lucky shot...
Link: Golly!

Astronomer 1:

Astronomer: The stars are made of ice. Thus, the night is cold. Bring the crystal from Sairagon and I will prove the light of ice penetrate more than fire.

Astronomer 2:

Astronomer: Now, if we make a simple vacuum and spin the ice just so. There!

Militron 1:

Gwonam: Look! ...How Militron makes his warriors.
Militron: Worthless Koridian. You must be hardened with fire! Go and kill!

Militron 2:

Militron: Feel the fire of war!

Militron 3:

Militron: Now, you must die!

Militron 4:

Militron: Oh my goodness! This is awful!

Fat girl:

Fat Girl: My hero! (Kiss) Won't you
Link: Oh, God...
Gwonam: ---please jump across that lil' old chasm---
Link: Yuck...
Gwonam: ---and cut my daddy's chains? Pretty please? Have a heart.

Smith 1:

Smith: Please, Link. Jump and cut these chains. The Arpagos are driving me crazy.

Smith 2:

Smith: Thanks. Say, you have a Fire Diamond, don't you?
Link: Sure!
Smith: Then let me fix your sword. Let's see how it works.
Link: Wow!

Beer guy:

Beer guy: What are you're havin' partner?
Link: I'm going to fight Glutko.
Gwonam: Don't fight him; feed him! (Snort.) Feed him something spicy! Know what I mean?

Glutko 1:

Gwonam: Through the eye of Glutko lies the shrine of Koridai.
Glutko: Awm-yee. I'm simply famished.
Koridian: No!
Glutko: Mmm. Tastes like a Daira! Perhaps just one more?

Glutko 2:

Glutko: Good goodie! Mashed Link for the main course.

Glutko 3:

Glutko: Wuh-oh!

ipo:

Ipo: Listen! Such is the power of the prince of darkness that he can kill with a single look. Attacks against Ganon will prove fruitless unless Link attacks with the sacred book.

Lupay 1:

Gwonam: Consider Lupay, the most of Ganon's minions.
Lupay: With this ruby, I replace your soul. You will obey.
Koridan: Ah-woo-ooh... Aw-woo-ooh.

Lupay 2:

Lupay: I spy with my eye, someone who must die.

Lupay 3:

Lupay: I will not die! Ah-woo...

goodbye my only friend:

Gwonam: At last, you have the vision to find my house! Now, you will see the that prevent your approach to Ganon. Go, with many blessings!

Ending sequence:

Zelda: Uh. Why'd you do that?
Link: I just saved you from Ganon!
Zelda: You did not!
Gwonam: Well done, Link! Ganon is once again imprisoned. Come, look! Already Koridai is returning to harmony. The birds are singing. Is it beautiful?
Link: Golly!
Gwonam: As it written, you, Link, are the hero of Koridai!
Link: I guess that's worth a kiss? Huh?
Zelda: Ha!
Link: I won!

why?

Now that you have wasted your time reading this, i hope you have a good day.

[HEVSuitGuy]

I wish that I was where I was 5 minutes ago before reading this so that I could have the experience of reading this amazing guide for the 1st time again.

[Aproximadamente_96_Cavalos]

1: thank you
2: why is this in gmod guides

[MaydenMann]

my brain is now both informed and confused

[Xan]

i have to pee

[Nagin da sigma]

i wonder whats for dinner. oh boy, im so hungry i can eat an octorock

[cheezeEGGSTREEME]

poggers

[daniellagarner]

engineer gaming

[Metaknightwithgun]

thanks

[mrg19998]

what a god

[Sanicmclain]

Squadila! We're off!