The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Soldier grabs a Shotgun and dashes down the stairs.]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[The BLU Scout struggles with the code-locked door.]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

Soldier: "Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: "Let's go, let's go-"

[BLU Heavy charges, destroying the door.]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[They tumble into the Intelligence Room.]

Scout: "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: "-AAAAalright then."

Spy: "Ahem. Gentlemen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[BLUs shake their heads.]

Spy: "Then we still have a problem."

[The Spy reveals a bloody Knife in the Sniper's back.]

Soldier: "...and a knife."

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies - like you!"

[The Scout cuts himself trying to handle the knife.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, they were not like me." [The Spy flicks the knife shut and hands it back.] "And nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

[The Soldier and Heavy chuckle.]

Spy: "No... that would be your mother!"

[The Spy shows compromising photos of the Scout's mother and the RED Spy.]

Spy: "Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

Soldier: "Oh!"

[Scout frantically retrieves the photos.]

Spy: "This Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[RED Spy disarms and destroys a BLU Sentry Gun, kills Engineer.]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[RED Spy kills Engineer with Revolver.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flashback: RED Spy backstabs the BLU Sniper.]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[RED Spy disguises as BLU Medic after killing him.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[Spy's head explodes. Soldier with Shotgun.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier prods the dead Spy.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait... that's blood."

[Scout reveals himself to be the RED Spy.]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... all right, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Stabbing sounds, TF2 ending flourish music plays.]

[RED Spy retrieves a photo of Scout's mother and smiles.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow.]