went to go pee at this dude's house and i slipped on semen. 6 staples and a major concussion

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE GOBLIN GANGBANG GIFT <3

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Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell team up again later this year for a hilarious movie Two Loud Guys

Trailer

FERRELL: WAAAAAAAUGHHHH! I AM REALLY UPSET NOW! I'M GOING TO KICK YOU IN THE HOO-HAA!

HART: OH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!

I accidentally cut off my scrotum (Please help!!!!!!!)
Oh God, I miss my wee nards so much that it hurts.

So it all started when I was playing with my pocket knife in the shower, and then I got the urge to *ahem* "bash my bologna." I forgot I was holding the damn thing because I have a .00002 second attention span due to excessive Roblox playing, and sure enough, I cut it off. After I did that, I screamed like a little ♥♥♥♥ and ran out of the shower, with my severed sack o' potatoes in my right hand, and tried to reattach it. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tried everything: duct tape, scotch tape, painter's tape, and my own ♥♥♥ as an adhesive. Has this happened to anyone else before? How do you reattach a scrotum to your body? PLEASE HELP!!!!