Recently, I've been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big ♥♥♥♥ turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It's so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then ♥♥♥♥ it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out "I love Oscar-winning actor Anthony Hopkins" each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it's completely normal, but he's gay, so I can't trust him.

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from ♥♥♥♥ I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.

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