I used to roll half a bottle of laxative pills into a Crunch wrap supreme and then leave cow pies on peoples door mats. People in my town installed porch cameras to catch the "Phantom S hitter" they said it couldn't possibly be one man, the hits were too frequent and too large. It had to be a whole gang of city punks coordinating and making planned precision strikes. I felt like a god among lesser beings in my town. Every time i was at the local diner and i overheard someone screaming about the black slop they found on their porch i felt powerful and unstoppable. I became too arrogant, started striking during the day. That's when they caught me and strung me up in the streets and hit me with rocks. I barely escaped with my life and i had to leave town. Now after all these years, I'm in a new town and I behave well enough. But I've got this nagging feeling, the urge is back, and I'm starting to think that my new town is about to experience a storm

Boner physics Lesson :
If every male on earth got a boner at the same time, the earth's rotation would slow down. Assume there are about 3.8 billion males, with an average D ick height of about 80 cm off the ground. The average D ick weighs about 100 grams.
That's a combined mass of 380,000,000 kg of C ock
Now we must make an approximation. For simplicity's sake, let us assume the C ocks are all evenly lined up in a ring around the equator. The equation for moment of inertia of a ring is I = mass*radius^2. The radius of earth is about 6.371 million meters. Therefore the radius of the approximated D ick ring is 6,371,000 + 0.80 = 6,371,000.8 meters.
I = 380,000,000*6,371,000.8^2 = 1.5424*10^22
The Earth has a moment of inertia, I = 8.04×10^37 kg*m^2. The Earth rotates at a moderate angular velocity of 7.2921159 ×10^−5 radians/second.
So in conclusion If we all have a boner at the same time, we will collectively be able to last 0.6752 nanoseconds longer in bed. Stay hard fellas.