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35 of 35 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Car Wash

Complete the first puzzle
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 5:55am

Returned to the Menu

Clicked the next puzzle button in the first stage
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 5:56am

Something Fishy

Complete the second puzzle
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:00am

Something Fishy Too

Complete the second second puzzle
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:04am

Trying to make Moooves

Complete the cow puzzle
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:08am

The Peeper

Pressed against the glass
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:11am

Windows Vista

Slowly pressed against the glass
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:14am

Steamed Dumplings

Get over here
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:15am

Wax On Wacks Off

Hands On
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:16am

Just the Tip

What a mouthful
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:16am

Complete the final stage

Sticky Eggplant
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:18am

Best Buds

Couchtime
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:35am

Windows is Sex-p

Sushi???
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:11am

Did I Just see that?

Complete the game
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:18am

Back to the Menu

Click *yourself* back to the menu
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:18am

Silent but Violent

Turn off the In-Game Music
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:09am

TLDR

Skip the Introduction story
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 5:51am

Impatient

Skip the story dialogues 20 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 5:51am

Illiterate

Skip the story dialogs 200 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:14am

Start Over

Start a new game with progress of a least 5 completed puzzles
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:36am

Half Way House

Complete 5 Puzzles
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:11am

Cheater

Click the hint button 30 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:29am

Puzzle Master

Complete a puzzle without using the hint button
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 5:55am

PIXEL DICK

You noticed you have a small dick to play with
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:19am

Aroused

Click a tiny dick 5 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:19am

Erect

Click a tiny dick 10 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:19am

Strokin'

Click a tiny dick 20 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:20am

Beater

Click a tiny dick 50 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:20am

When I think about you I touch myself

Click a tiny dick 100 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:21am

Rub one out

Click a tiny dick 200 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:21am

Strong arm

Click a tiny dick 500 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:21am

Rawhide!

Click a tiny dick 1000 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:22am

Down to the bone

Click a tiny dick 5000 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:26am

His power is over 9000!

Click a tiny dick 9001 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:28am

Master-baiter

Click a tiny dick 10000 times
Unlocked Feb 9, 2019 @ 6:28am