kadava
Australia
 
 
No information given.
Currently Offline
Favorite Game
23
Hours played
Review Showcase
23 Hours played
Day 0: Friend tells me off great game recently released on steam, he tells me, its right up my alley. Naturally, I looked. I opened the page, it mentioned "800+ moans when you defeat monsters", at that point there was no pair of pants able to contain the raging boner I had. It throbbed at the thought of clicking on my favourite waifu's anywhere on their voluptuous bodies, I knew, at that moment, I must have it.

Day 1: I had just finished downloading the game, using up the last bit of my internet quota. But it was worth it. I load up the game, I see before me a big bosomed rat ready to receive my furious clicking. I place my cursor over its breasts and repeatedly click. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. My finger is going numb, my other hand is tired from its repetitive... actions. Yet, I can not bring myself to stop. My fingers hunger for the waifu's, I have acquired a masterful 0.3 waifu's/second and am currently looking to conquer the zones like captain cook did to those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I realise, that this is more than just a game, more than just a method to release all my built up desires, it is the thing I have been waiting for all my life.

Day 3: I still have yet to sleep, my vision is beginning to blur and my mind feels as if its tearing apart. The consistent moaning the only thing helping me cling to my sanity. My parents have given up on me. They walk into my room and plead me to stop, tears rolling down their face and grief in their hearts. I drown out their worthless cries in order to maintain a consistent waifu's/minute ratio so as to expand my waifu companions in order to abuse more monsters for more waifu gold. I have now come to my senses. It is clear what is to happen. I, in order to give this game the attention it deserves, will start my own Bad Rats professional scene.

Day 5: Sleep still evades me, I haven't blinked in the past 6 hours so that I won't miss a spirit or treasure chest that may appear. I must avoid it, the gold is invaluable. My Sakura Clicker professional scene has yet to boom in popularity, yet I will not falter. I will remain stalwart until this game becomes the new CSGO, LoL, DotA, etc.. I am now working as a full time Bad Rats Gamer. It may have no income, it may cause girls of all shapes, sizes and forms to recoil in disgust at the very mention of my name, but yet I do not regret it. I must increase my waifu's/minute, it has been lacking of late. My body is exhausted, my eyes are heavy, my balls are stained, I smell like a fat mexican smeared taco sauce over himself and sat in the African sun to grill for several days. I have drunk my 13th energy drink for the day, I am running low, I have just finished my reserves and my parents are too depressed to buy more. I need to go myself, I need sustenance, but I can't for now. I will have to wait.

Day 6: I finished my morning gold farming and rushed down to the corner store, I smelt and looked like the underside of an obese man's gooch. I cleared out the entire rack of energy drinks and quickly rushed back to my home. The sun burned my skin, my lungs were filled with grease and I had lost almost all functioning in my legs. I now live on a diet of energy drinks and doritoes, but as long as I am able to maintain my current waifu's per second, there is not a thing in the world to deter me from continuing.

Day 10: I fell asleep at my desk last night, I was unable to stop myself. The days of fatigue had finally caught up and I passed out with my pants around my ankles with my computer moaning every few seconds. I wake up and see that my parents have left and taken everything. I now sit in the basement, alone, contemplating to what extent I have cursed myself. I stand up, half naked and look over to a nearby mirror. I look like Zach Galifianakis had furious sex with a bear with superglue attached to his body and then♥♥♥♥♥♥into his hands and smeared all over himself. I open my forgotten facebook account and see several dozen notifications. R.I.P messages riddle my home page and I am believed dead by the entire town except for the local clerks at the 7/11. I came to the realisation that I had just wasted more than a week of my life on a clicking game with anime girls moaning every few seconds and a 1 song soundtrack which repeated every 45 seconds. I then looked over at my computer, it was still running Sakura Clicker. I sit down and continue my deeds until I die from exhaustion.

Overall: 10/10 game, lost everything and everyone of any importance in my life to this game yet I don't regret anything.

Edit:

Day 12: My power went out yesterday. I crawled into a ball, pants around my ankle, lying in a pool off my own grease and various other... secretions. I didn't know what else to do for I had lost the one thing for which I cared for in my entire life. I had decided that for lack of other things to do, to go to school. I do not know how I had survived so long, instinctively clicking for days on end and as expected, so did all of my former friends. They looked upon me, as if I was Jesus being resurrected after atoning for their sins. I explained to them the situation, that their existences were meaningless in my eyes. That the only thing I hold dear to me are my kawaii waifu's and damage/second. They looked upon me as if I had the brain cells of a chalkboard. He exclaimed "You do know you could use an auto-clicker". I looked, puzzled at the words the inferior one had mentioned. I, with much interest, replied "What is that". Their jaws drop, they tell me of this magical program which clicks for you, much faster and consistently so I could both maintain my waifus/s and my life. I looked upon his now beautiful face and tears ran down my acne-riddled cheeks. I realised that although Sakura Clicker was the only thing I genuinely cared about, I was able to play it without vegetating at my desk. The colour came back to my previously black and white life. My family rejoiced and my friends cheered. I had gone from a degenerate with no friends, wasting away with his pants around his ankles listening to consistent moans from innumerable waifu's, to a degenerate with friends wasting away after school hours.

Who would have known that this game would both ruin and destory the foundations of my life, but also rebuild and make a much more beautiful life for all to enjoy?

New Rating: 9/10. Able to be enjoyed by those willing to discard their lives and those who only wish to discard their dignity.
76561199028094171 Apr 17, 2023 @ 9:54am 
yo mate , +rep sign , add me pls :DDD
Summi Apr 4, 2023 @ 3:09am 
прими го трейд
76561199180619322 Mar 8, 2023 @ 12:54am 
mate?
King ADZY Feb 18, 2023 @ 11:13pm 
100 percent using cheats just report
daja Jan 31, 2023 @ 5:00am 
daddy why dont u fk me
I just roke up Jan 31, 2023 @ 4:41am 
YO, it's ya boy