Dear Ricky,

This is Dorothy. I keep receiving faxes from Ronald about some sort of cheese function for my son? I'm dearly concerned about his safety, as he has not returned since an hour ago. Please write me back. You know Crispy can't handle his dairy! He's not like he was back in Prague.

Anyways, I have another favor to ask (trust me I know, I don't want to). I'm trying to change my name to Wanda. I've always liked the fairly oddparents. I think it's so funny that there's a chocolate shake in the theme song haha! Anyways please return my legal documents, as well as Crispy. He is probably very lonesome with Sarah. Sarah is a ♥♥♥♥♥ and doesn't make good pumpkin bread. So dry and cucumbery.

I don't really know what to do.

-Wanda

JrCockaDoodleDoodlerRoosterFanClub was founded by Sir Charles Roosterton back in Olde England. He was a shoe shiner and dreamed of opening his very own fan club. After getting fired, he found a group of chickens and was about to eat them when he realized that he should raise them. He kept breeding chickens, but only kept the males for the National Rooster Show (NRS™.) After winning 69 years in a row, he decided to make a Fan Club after his victories. After he died, he left the fan club to his son, Jerry, who then sold it to his friend, who sold it to his cousin, who sold it to his uncle, who sold it to his daughter, who sold it to her fish, who sold it to his dog, who sold it to his friend Ryan, who sold it to his brother, who sold it to Jerry's cousin. Now it is run by Jerry's cousin's grandchild Wilbur McChillington. Renew you subscription and get FREE world domination pants. *shipping and handeling is 9.99*

Greetings Samuel,

Did Crispy Jones contact you about Ms. Tilbert? I should've known with that kid, how typical. I give him everything in life: a kelp farm, anchovies for his weekly meetings, and even scissor pants, and for what?? He goes on harassing every ma'am and madam around the corner asking about Dorothy gosh darn flippin' Tilbert! What is with this kid?? He's obsessed is what I do believe and I am here to do something about it. Do me a favor Sammy, ah? When Crispy comes by next time, let him think Ms. Tilbert is at the Cheese Function. I volunteer there everything week, as well as every day. If you can convince him to peruse his way on over there, I may be able to snatch him - and teach him a lesson! Anyways, the fried gum drops are on their way, you sick bastard.

Farewell,

Ronald Hibbleton

How swimmingly it must have went when Dorothy Tilbert came by the other day. Man, her passion for geriatric hardware is unfathomable! Just last night, she was exclaiming this new hoola hoop she purchased at the local Home Depot for her great aunt and, to put it lightly, wow! That woman can hoop! Hope Spencer stops cutting the hoops with his ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ oversized scissors. Gosh, he is a darn annoying figure, that man. I hope he goes back to culinary school, but he is just so busy with the hoop cutting and pond fishing by the river.

Hello sir or madam, I have the unfortunate pleasure of contacting you with an offer - my brother Sigmund requires assistance with his lawn mower. He states that the blades are not helping the grass sing and needs an extra set of hands to remove the diseased blade. Can I put you two in contact? He can pay you double of the pay at Ruby Tuesdays, but only if it is successful. Let me know. Thanks. -Harold K

code as in code of duty extreme?