Hey, it's me, Queen Elizabeth. Charles sent me to a deserted island so he could be King. I don't have access to my royal money so please cashapp me $300 so I can get back to the UK.

Tea and biscuits!

Concerned Christian father here, recently my 11 year old son downloaded the video game Fortnite after playing it at a friend’s house. While I didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had taken up hard drugs and smoking. When asked to do his homework, he called me a “default” and did a strange dance. His grades have been dropping heavily ever since that day and now he’s threatening me with violence. Yesterday I entered his room to see him smoking a cigar and playing extremely Loud rave (sinner) music, he has dyed his hair blue and now refuses to go to Bible study unless we “take the battle bus”. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transport except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?

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That’s it, that seals the deal. I’ve been a U.S citizen for 69 years and in all my time of being one I have never seen an election this rigged. I’ve had enough of it...until you fix this country. I’ll be packing my bags to Alaska where they actually know how to run a country. BYE

Chernobyl you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ aids peddler shut your ♥♥♥♥♥ mouth.

0 kills 6 deaths and you decide to teabag me after you got carried by your teammates
nice going bud