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Bazooka Proof Jul 22, 2018 @ 6:45pm 
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd.
QUAWRRY Mar 16, 2018 @ 12:23pm 
bitchass ♥♥♥♥♥
Friskus Jul 19, 2017 @ 4:14pm 
oy pleb
silk Mar 13, 2017 @ 11:39am 
hello kevin
BigBodyThottie Jul 28, 2016 @ 12:36pm 
lel