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85 of 85 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Spring Fresh

Clean any map adequately
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:21pm

Employee of the Month

Get the Employee of the Month reward for your office
Unlocked Jun 25, 2018 @ 7:03pm

You're Fired!

Get fired!
Unlocked Jun 14, 2018 @ 2:35pm

Blood Soaked

Spill 100 dirty buckets
Unlocked Jun 30, 2018 @ 1:50pm

Blaze of Glory

Incinerate 2000 items
Unlocked Jul 4, 2018 @ 4:06pm

Bloody Hell!

Mop up 10,000 splats
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 4:38pm

Who's for Dinner?

Get eaten
Unlocked Jun 14, 2018 @ 2:41pm

Top Brass

Pick up 800 casings
Unlocked Jul 7, 2018 @ 2:58pm

Taking Out the Trash

Pick up 1000 pieces of trash
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 12:05pm

Ubermensch

Speedrun a map with at least %25 par time to spare
Unlocked Jul 12, 2018 @ 8:34am

Pedestrian

Track over 20,000 footprints
Unlocked Jul 5, 2018 @ 6:31pm

Janicide

Blow up a fellow worker with the help of an ominously bright-red explosive charge
Unlocked Jul 10, 2018 @ 8:20am

Need a Hand?

Receive a total of 35 helping hands from the Slosh-O-Matic
Unlocked Jun 29, 2018 @ 6:56pm

Bins? Limbs!

Suffer the wrath of the Bin machine 75 times
Unlocked Jun 28, 2018 @ 8:49pm

First Aid

Restock a total of 50 medkits over your cleaning career by punching out of levels with medkits
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 7:09am

The Nose Knows

Use the Sniffer for a total of 2 hours
Unlocked Jun 29, 2018 @ 8:25pm

Chew on This!

Throw 100 items into sand traps
Unlocked Jun 14, 2018 @ 2:50pm

Disintegrator

Fry 500 items with the plasma welder
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 4:53pm

The Mops Of Wrath

Complete Athena's Wrath Level
Unlocked Jun 25, 2018 @ 7:03pm

Anti-Virus

Complete Caduceus Level
Unlocked Jun 29, 2018 @ 2:55pm

Ice-Cold Cleana

Complete Cryogenesis Level
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 8:48pm

Sandblasted

Complete Unearthly Excavation Level
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 11:43am

Pine Fresh

Complete Hydroponic Hell Level
Unlocked Jul 4, 2018 @ 8:37pm

Surgical Sweeper

Complete Evil Science Level
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 9:06pm

Deep-Sea Dry-cleaning

Complete Paintenance Level
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 8:55pm

Operation Brownwash

Complete Waste Disposal Level
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 9:02pm

Refined

Complete Unrefinery Level
Unlocked Jun 27, 2018 @ 2:59pm

One Mop To Rule Them All

Complete All major Official Levels
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 11:43am

Pass The Torch

Take a lit flare from a fellow Janitor
Unlocked Jun 27, 2018 @ 2:47pm

Louis and Clean

Complete Gravity Drive Level
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 8:39am

Big Banger Burnout

Tame the uncontrollable fury of the Big Banger by incinerating it
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:41pm

Clean Freak

Cleanup your own personal Office by removing any Trash, Viscera and Blood; excluding trophies, then leave
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 3:49pm

Employee of the Year

Receive 12 Employee of the Month awards
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 7:09am

Identity Theft

Steal 30 or more Personal Identification Devices (P.I.Ds) from cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked Jun 29, 2018 @ 8:40am

Bring the Thunder

Take the Big Banger Supernova out of Unearthly Excavation and into another work-site and turn it on
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 11:16am

Master of the Beats

Turn off the Big Banger while it's playing loudly(keep your music volume up too) in zero-gravity during a Solo game
Unlocked Jun 27, 2018 @ 6:01pm

Plague Bearer

Transfer a Goo-Jar to another work-site and infect something
Unlocked Jun 29, 2018 @ 3:01pm

Head Hunter

Collect a head from each species in cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 9:06pm

Brushed Steel

Complete Revolutionary Robotics Level
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 7:09am

Bushwhacked

Complete Overgrowth Level
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 9:08am

Bob's Legacy

Find Bob
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 10:46am

"Red Keycard"

Unlock Bob's super secret secret stash room
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 11:08am

Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe

Find all the unique and hidden collectibles and return them to your office
Unlocked Jul 9, 2018 @ 11:18am

Eggregious

Find all the hidden painted eggs and return them to your office
Unlocked Jul 4, 2018 @ 8:37pm

Lost in Space and Time

Get consumed by an inter-dimensional crack in space-time
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 6:46pm

Wicked Unliving

Collect the chainsaw, boomstick, cursed hand and the evil book and return them to your office
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 7:08pm

Thursday the 12th

Collect the mask and machete and return them to your office
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 7:08pm

Bad Dreams on Helm Street

Collect the clawed glove and return it to your office
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 7:08pm

Harroween

Collect the white mask and butcher knife and return them to your office
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 7:08pm

The Shimmering

Collect the axe and return it to your office
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 7:08pm

Never Put It On

Collect the ring and return it to your office
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 7:08pm

House of Honor

Clean the entire House of Horror level
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 7:08pm

Back From Whence It Came

Destroy the Bad Banger
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 6:40pm

Not Quite a Lumberjack

Destroy 200 items in the woodchipper
Unlocked Jul 2, 2018 @ 7:48pm

Cleanliness is Godliness

Completely clean all mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:39pm

Christmas Crisis Corrected

Completely clean Santa's Workshop without breaking any Christmas items and clock off
Unlocked Jun 14, 2018 @ 2:30pm

Sanitized Earth

Completely clean all mess and destroy every item in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:55pm

Bloody Incompetent

Prove your incompetence by leaving a worse mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Jun 14, 2018 @ 2:35pm

St. Nick's Boomstick

Collect Santa's shotgun and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Jun 14, 2018 @ 2:26pm

The Red Nose Knows

Collect the iconic reindeer nose and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:39pm

Rooks Kept

Collect the different Rooks Keep figurines and take them back to your office
Unlocked Jun 14, 2018 @ 2:29pm

Ballistic Weaponry

Collect the different Ballistic Weapons toys and bring them back to your office
Unlocked Jun 14, 2018 @ 2:26pm

Thunder Candle

Requisition a new replacement janitor through the use of TNT
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:42pm

Head Hunter

Collect elf heads and bring them back to your office, you freakin' psycho!
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:39pm

Santa Hats Must Die!

Incinerate 50 Santa hats, the symbol of everything you hate
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 3:46pm

Tower of Babel

Build a stack of 10 stools
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:42pm

The Day the Funk Died

Bring about the sad meeting of Ice-Cold Banger and fire
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:41pm

Cold Storage

Complete Frostbite Level
Unlocked Jun 29, 2018 @ 8:40am

Biomassive Breakdown

Complete Incubation Emergency Level
Unlocked Jul 8, 2018 @ 12:07pm

Sanitary Supremacy

Completely clean the entire Shadow Warrior temple level
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:21pm

Mr. Two Million Dollars

Collect the two million dollars of cold hard cash from the Shadow Warrior level all at once and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Jun 13, 2018 @ 2:21pm

Swept Under The Carpet

Complete Uprinsing Level
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 6:57am

Crystal Clear

Complete Core Sample Level
Unlocked Dec 22, 2018 @ 8:27pm

Pest Control

Complete Pestilent Penitentiary Level
Unlocked Dec 31, 2018 @ 5:54am

Bleach and Clear

Complete Penumbra Level
Unlocked Dec 23, 2018 @ 9:27am

Audacious Oddities

Find all the unique Collectibles in the Vulcan Affair and return them to your office
Unlocked Dec 22, 2018 @ 8:23pm

Lair Care

Clean the entire Vulcan Affair level
Unlocked Dec 22, 2018 @ 8:23pm

Teeth for Tunes

Bring about the unfortunate meeting of Double-Oh Banger and Shark
Unlocked Dec 21, 2018 @ 5:57pm

Blood in the Water

Go for a swim with Sharks
Unlocked Dec 21, 2018 @ 5:51pm

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Tank

Feed the ever hungry Sharks 500 items they can either devour or destroy
Unlocked Dec 23, 2018 @ 6:46am

Double-Oh Dumbass

Foolishly activate the Death Ray
Unlocked Dec 21, 2018 @ 6:20pm

Locked In

Lock another player inside a holding cell where they belong
Unlocked Dec 21, 2018 @ 5:59pm

Death From Above

Get turned into mist by an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked Dec 21, 2018 @ 6:29pm

Cat-astrophe

Using an orbital beam weapon, destroy the symbol of your most hated overlord; cats!
Unlocked Dec 21, 2018 @ 6:18pm

Orbital Bang-bardment

Allow the Banger to ascend to its rightful place among the heavens through the use of an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked Dec 21, 2018 @ 6:34pm