Dear <<Subject Name Here>>,
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that, although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from —

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--- you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Thank you for helping us help you help us all!