you're a

⊂_ヽ
　 ＼＼ ＿ F
　　 ＼(　•_•) A
　　　 <　⌒ヽ G
　　　/ 　 へ＼ G
　　 /　　/　＼＼ O
　　 ﾚ　ノ　　 ヽ_つ T
　　/　/
　 /　/|
　(　(ヽ
　|　|、＼
　| 丿 ＼ ⌒)
　| |　　) /
`ノ )　　Lﾉ
(_／

I'm so mad cause I'm not Jarock

The other day, my son came home for Christmas with his new partner. I was excited to meet her, but imagine my horror when it turned out to be another man. I immediately started to protest, but my son said "Dad, this is who I am" Without missing a beat, I turned around and said, "You forgot to say NO H0M0" But my boy simply scoffed at me and said, "Actually dad, I AM a homosexual" I stared straight at my son, penetrating his soul with my eyes, and said, "But that's gay." As soon as I said that, my son began to convulse. He dropped to floor in some sort of manic state, spit pouring from his mouth as his eyes rolled back into his head. His bf tried to help him, but I pushed that dainty little queer away with my heteronormative strength. After a full minute, my son opened his eyes and said, "Dad, you cured me of my homosexuality." Then he pointed at that queer and said, "Let's get that hom0!" After we wiped Brian's blood off our hands, we sat down with a beer and watched some football.

Feet.What else can I say?Absolutely marvelous.Stupendous.Utterly amazing,l'd say.The scale,the size,the shape all perfect.The perplexing scent may seem,to put it in the peasants language,nasty,at first,but as you truly realize the beauty of feet,it grows on you.It's an incredible metaphor for life-even the most perfect thing will have a flaw, but it too must be appreciated,and in a way,it improves said thing even more.But the best part is,undoubtedly,the taste.Ohh,ahh.. scrumptious! Splendid! If it were up to me,i'd lick them all day,everyday From the very tip of the heel to the ends of every single toe,as my tongue slowly drifts across the deserted surface.The burn you feel on your tongue feels odd and makes you feel uneasy at first,but it's part of the experience,and soon enough you learn to love it,as you start feeling it permanently.It's all you can feel But sucking the toes is truly the highlight.The mere thought of sticking them in my mouth makes me ejaculate in mere seconds...

Boner physics Lesson:
If every male on earth got a boner at the same time, the earth's rotation would slow down. Assume there are about 3.8 billion males, with an average D ick height of about 80 cm off the ground. The average D ick weighs about 100 grams.

That's a combined mass of 380,000,000 kg of C ock

Now we must make an approximation. For simplicity's sake, let us assume the C ocks are all evenly lined up in a ring around the equator. The equation for moment of inertia of a ring is I = mass*radius^2. The radius of earth is about 6.371 million meters. Therefore the radius of the approximated D ick ring is 6,371,000 + 0.80 = 6,371,000.8 meters.

I = 380,000,000*6,371,000.8^2 = 1.5424*10^22

The Earth has a moment of inertia, I = 8.04×10^37 kg*m^2. The Earth rotates at a moderate angular velocity of 7.2921159 ×10^−5 radians/second.

So in conclusion If we all have a boner at the same time, we will collectively be able to last 0.6752 nanoseconds longer in bed. Stay hard fellas.

Kanye West with a pu ssy would be breathtaking. It would be so pink and he would make sure to wax every once in a while. His lips would be so silky. To see his c lit, you’d have to spread his lips because they are also chubby. His walls are fluffy and it would be so easy for him to squirt.