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It's Wednesday morning, 6:58 AM.

You arrive at the office and sit down in front of your monitor. It blinks awake as your computer boots up, nearly blinding you with its piercing white light. With a deep sigh, you log in and check your email. George can't find an icon on his desktop, and Karen downloaded another virus. You roll your eyes and get to work.

Half an hour later, you check your to-do list. There are a few items, but none of them are urgent or important in the slightest. You could apply yourself and finish them within an hour or two, but then you wouldn't have a way to look busy

If you don't look busy, you don't look necessary; and if you don't look necessary, you get pushed to part-time status; and if you get pushed to part-time, you lose your insurance.

So, you open a few emails alongside a spreadsheet. You look around before opening a private Firefox window in the bottom corner of your screen; it won't hide your browsing history from IT, but being a furry, you are IT. You log into Reddit and find a message notification:

OwO your sona is soooo cute!

You smile before typing a reply:

no u UwU

based black guy
+rep

I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Halloween Mercy. That perfect, curvy body. Those bountiful breasts. The child bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ANYTHING for the chance to get Halloween Mercy pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bear. Why would Blizzard create something so perfect? To ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tantalize us? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can't anymore. ♥♥♥♥.

❗️😱OOF❗️YOU JUST GOT 😩😏 FLIPPING NAE NAED 😳👊 BY THANOS 😡🔥 HE NOW HAS 🧐🤨 ALL THE GUCCI STONES 💎👏 HE'S GONNA DESTROY 🔥💪 ALL FORTNITE SERVERS 🤬❌ QUICK FORTNITERS 🤓🤩 WE MUST ASSEMBLE 🤝✊ SO WE CAN PUT 🤔🤔 OUR FORTNITE ♥♥♥♥♥😏💯🔥 INSIDE OF THANOSES 🤨🤔 TIGHT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 🕳️💋

We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Mum's Visa" has been declined, your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo (12') $89.99- 1x Ultra HD Backdoor Sluts 9 $12.99- 6x Magnum condoms (Small) $24.45- 5x Bananas $7.00- 5x Cucumbers $4.00- 1x FeelsLikeBlood Lube Bottle 750ml $19.99- 1x Next day shipping $45.00- 1x Frequent Shopper Discount (15%)

Please respond back to us using your old email:i_love_black_cock@hotmail.com

IT’S COCKTOBER U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AWARENESS MONTH SEND THIS TO 12 OF UR CLOSET HOES THAT LOVE THAT ♥♥♥♥ THOT-O-WEEN IS UPON US !! YOU ARE QUEEN OF THE THOTS!!! FORWARD THIS TO 7 OF THE THOTTIEST THOTS THAT YOU KNOW WILL GET SOME SOON !!! IF YOU DON’T, BE PREPARED FOR 69 DAYS OF BAD LUCK

Help me, ever since I saw Zootopia 3 months ago I've been literally in love with Nick. I've already have had a furry waifu for longer but I want him to be my knotty husbando, some nights I fall asleep hugging my pillow and imagining it's him. I don't care if he's a top or bottom, I just wish we could do something together. My heart actually jumped when I saw his face in that image ;_;

Ever since the space-faring 'humans' had arrived to Megakat City, the two cultures had not seen entirely eye to eye. The humans were full of endless questions. What is the name of your planet? Why is there only one city on your entire planet, aside from a vaguely specified Japan-themed island full of Siamese cats? What is the name of your species? Do you think your women are genetically compatible with our species? Why is there a single F-14 Tomcat on your planet that keeps coming out of a garage that no one else notices despite being outlandishly loud and incredibly obvious to anyone with eyes? Did you know human penises don't have barbs? Why is there a lizard man T-Rex scientist in a giant lab coat stomping through your city as a court jester with magic powers uses a tabletop d20 die to judge the moral character of your citizens? The endless stream of questions that any B grade animation producer would consider to be beneath their time occupied the length of any conversation.

It was quite tiring. Eventually, it was deemed necessary to put an end to these misunderstandings with a series of interviews with city leaders in the field of politics, science and philosophy. And the adult entertainment industry. Humans seemed particularly compelled to investigate that. As soon as the latest human expedition returns from their bi-weekly trip to the red district brothels, both parties will have an amicable discussion and reach a lasting peace. And perhaps they will have some insight to the recent mass disappearances of supermodels and college sorority girls throughout the city

How do you convince your roommates not to move your freezer spoons when they need space for their normie ♥♥♥♥ in the freezer? You know, freezer spoons, the spoons you keep in your freezer so you can come in from a hot summer day and hold your balls in a nice chilly spoon and cool down. How do you keep your roommates from taking them out of the freezer?

乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚

mechwarrior when https://imgur.com/gallery/xVS5arc

https://i.redditmedia.com/_5V877KxKfDhzp0zUOU41DiJ0MkED59-hg4xuID6nJ4.jpg?w=750&s=c55d6d14feb30a216d709295668d4b77

sapnu puas

⠠⠱⠁⠞⠀⠮⠀⠋⠥⠉⠅⠀⠙⠊⠙⠀⠽⠀⠚⠀⠋⠥⠉⠅⠬⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠁⠃⠀⠍⠑⠂⠀⠽⠀⠇⠇⠀⠃⠊⠞⠡⠦⠀⠠⠊⠠⠴⠇⠇⠀⠓⠀⠽⠀⠐⠅⠀⠠⠊⠀⠛⠗⠁⠙⠥⠁⠞⠫⠀⠞⠕⠏⠀⠷⠀⠍⠽⠀⠉⠇⠁⠎⠎⠀⠔⠀⠮⠀⠠⠝⠁⠧⠽⠀⠠⠎⠂⠇⠎⠂⠀⠯⠀⠠⠊⠠⠴⠧⠑⠀⠃⠑⠑⠝⠀⠔⠧⠕⠇⠧⠫⠀⠔⠀⠝⠥⠍⠻⠳⠎⠀⠎⠑⠉⠗⠑⠞⠀⠗⠁⠊⠙⠀⠏⠗⠑⠉⠊⠨⠝⠀⠮⠀⠇⠊⠅⠑⠎⠀⠷⠀⠱⠀⠓⠁⠎⠀⠝⠐⠑⠀⠃⠑⠑⠝⠀⠎⠑⠑⠝⠀⠆⠋⠀⠕⠝⠀⠹⠀⠠⠑⠜⠹⠂⠀⠍⠜⠅⠀⠍⠽⠀⠋⠥⠉⠅⠬⠀⠘⠺⠎⠲⠀⠠⠽⠀⠹⠔⠅⠀⠽⠀⠉⠀⠛⠑⠞⠀⠁⠺⠁⠽⠀⠾⠀⠎⠁⠽⠬⠀⠞⠀⠩⠊⠞⠀⠞⠕⠀⠍⠑⠀⠕⠧⠻⠀⠮⠀⠠⠔⠞⠻⠝⠑⠞⠦⠀⠠⠹⠔⠅⠀⠁\

So I was at Walmart and this little girl who looks like she is about 3 years old was sitting in a basket. She was looking at me like I stole her tooth fairy money!! So me being the person I am, I smiler and waved at her. Her lil watermelon headed ass roller her eyes at me. So me being the person I am (cause a 3 yr old ain't gonna play with me) I asker her mother if I could giver her some candy. The mom said yes, and smiled I told the little girl to put it in her pocket for later. She smiled and I smiled, and then I walked over to the manager and told him she was steali9ng m&m's. The manager said "Thank you, I am so sick of these parents not controlling their children". The manager walks over to the mother and asked her to empty her pockets. So I stuck my middle finger up at the little seed of Chucky, and kindly walked out the store. I am not one to be played with...

Yesterday, during our scheduled Furry Hour, my 7 year old refused to be cooperative right from the start. Eventually, he threw a tantrum, telling me "I don't want to learn about furries anymore. This is stupid. I wish I could go to school like all the other kids."

Needless to say, I was devastated. I tried to tell him that the reason I homeschool him is because the public school system does not respect our beliefs and practices. I reminded him of the time his first grade teacher called child services because I barked at her during our parent-teacher conference. He didn't want to hear any of it though, so I just left him alone to do a Math worksheet.

I haven't talked to him today yet, and I'm trying not to be upset at him, but it's so hard. Please, have any of your children gone through this phase with homeschooling, and if so how did you handle it?

🏊🚂🚃🚄🚅🚆🚇Ⓜ🚈🚊🚋🚌🚍🚎🚏🚐🚑🚒🚓🚔🚕🚖🚗🚘🚙🚚🚛🚜🚝🚞🚟🚠🚡🚢🚣🚁✈🛂🛃🛄🛅⛵🚲🚳🚴🚵🚷🚸🚉🚀🚤🚶⛽🅿🚥🚦🚧🚨♨💌💍💎💐💒🔝🔙🔛🔜🔚⏳⌛⏰♈♉♊♋♌♍♎♏♐♑♒♓⛎🔱🔯🚻🚮🚯🚰🚱🅰🅱🆎🅾💮💯🔠🔡🔢🔣🔤➿📶📳📴📵🚹🚺🚼♿♻🚭🚩⚠🈁🔞⛔🆒🆗🆕🆘🆙🆓🆖🆚🈲🈳🈴🈵🈶🈷🈸🈹🈂🈺🉐🉑㊙®©™🈚🈯㊗⭕❌❎ℹ🚫✅✔🔗✴✳➕➖✖➗💠💡💤💢💥💨💦💫🔥🕒↕⬆↗➡↘⬇↙⬅↖↔⤴⤵⏪⏫⏬⏩◀▶🔽🔼❇✨🔴🔵♥♥♥♥♥♥🔳🔲⭐🌟🌠▫▪◽◾◻◼⬜⬛🔸🔹🔶🔷🔺🔻❔❓❕❗‼⁉〰➰♠♥♣♦🆔🔑↩🆑🔍🔒🔓↪🔐☑🔘🔎🔖🔏🔃🔀🔁🔂🔄📧🔅🔆🔇🔈🔉🔊

🐒🐵🐆🐯🐻🐫🐪🐊🐳🐋🐟🐠🐡🐙🐚🐬🐌🐛🐜🐝🐞🐲🐉🐾🍸🍺🍻🍷🍹🍶☕🍵🍼🍴🍨🍧🍦🍩🍰🍪🍫🍬🍭🍮🍯🍳🍔🍟🍝🍕🍖🍗🍤🍣🍱🍞🍜🍙🍚🍛🍲🍥🍢🍡🍘🍠🍌🍎🍏🍊🍋🍄🍅🍆🍇🍈🍉🍐🍑🍒🍓🍍🌰🌱🌲🌳🌴🌵🌷🌸🌹🍀🍁🍂🍃🌺🌻🌼🌽🌾🌿☀🌈⛅☁🌁🌂☔💧⚡🌀❄⛄🌙🌞🌝🌚🌛🌜🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🎑🌄🌅🌇🌆🌃🌌🌉🌊🌋🌎🌏🌍🌐🏠🏡🏢🏣🏤🏥🏦🏧🏨🏩🏪🏫⛪⛲🏬🏯🏰🏭🗻🗼🗽🗾🗿⚓🏮💈🔧🔨🔩🚿🛁🛀🚽🚾🎽🎣🎱🎳⚾⛳🎾⚽🎿🏀🏁🏂🏃🏄🏆🏇🐎🏈🏉

💣💉💊🚬🔔🔕🚪🔬🔭🔮🔦🔋🔌📜📗📘📙📚📔📒📑📓📕📖📰📛🎃🎄🎀🎁🎂🎈🎆🎇🎉🎊🎍🎏🎌🎐🎋🎎📱📲📟☎📞📠📦✉📨📩📪📫📭📬📮📤📥📯📢📣📡💬💭✒✏📝📏📐📍📌📎✂💺💻💽💾💿📆📅📇📋📁📂📃📄📊📈📉⛺🎡🎢🎠🎪🎨🎬🎥📷📹🎦🎭🎫🎮🎲🎰🃏🎴🀄🎯📺📻📀📼🎧🎤🎵🎶🎼🎻🎹🎷🎺🎸〽🐕🐶🐩🐈🐱🐀🐁🐭🐹🐢🐇🐰🐓🐔🐣🐤🐥🐦🐏🐑🐐🐺🐃🐂🐄🐮🐴🐗🐖🐷🐽🐸🐍🐼🐧🐘🐨

☺😊😀😁😂😃😄😅😆😇😈😉😯😐😑😕😠😬😡😢😴😮😣😤😥😦😧😨😩😰😟😱😲😳😵😶😷😞😒😍😛😜😝😋😗😙😘😚😎😭😌😖😔😪😏😓😫🙋🙌🙍🙅🙆🙇🙎🙏😺😼😸😹😻😽😿😾🙀🙈🙉🙊💩👶👦👧👨👩👴👵💏💑👪👫👬👭👤👥👮👷💁💂👯👰👸🎅👼👱👲👳💃💆💇💅👻👹👺👽👾👿💀💪👀👂👃👣👄👅💋❤💙💚💛💜💓💔💕💖💗💘💝💞💟👍👎👌✊✌✋👊☝👆👇👈👉👋👏👐🔰💄👞👟👑👒🎩🎓👓⌚👔👕👖👗👘👙👠👡👢👚👜💼🎒👝👛💰💳💲💵💴💶💷💸💱💹🔫🔪

😸😸😸😸 HEY ALL YOU SLUTTY FURRIES OUT THERE 👯 IT’S TIME TO CELEBRATE FALL 🍂🍂🍃🍃🍁🍁 BY APPRECIATING ALL THOSE FOXY DADDIES OUT THERE 🐺🐺🐺 IT’S THAT TIME IF YEAR TO SETTLE DOWN WITH A CUP OF PUMPKIN SPICE 🎃🎃🎃 ☕️☕️☕️AND A NICE HOT YIFF 😏🙊💦 IT’S TIME TO ENJOY TO BEAUTIFUL FALL COLOURS 🍂🍁🍂🍁 AND GET KNOTTED 😩👅💦 SEND THIS TO 🔟 OF YOUR SLUTTIEST FURFRIENDS 👯👯👯👯👯 YOU GET 0️⃣ YOU’RE A YIFFLESS VANILLA 😿😧 GET 3️⃣ AND YOU’RE A SQUISHY LITTLE AUTUMN BUNNY 🐰🐇💦 GET 5️⃣ AND YOU’RE A FOXY FALL FREAK 😏💦🐺 GET 🔟 AND YOU’RE A YIFFTASTIC MAPLE TIGER 🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅😩😩😩😩💦💦💦💦

I did cut the ♥♥♥♥, that piece of ♥♥♥♥ is you, GUTLESS PIG. AIGHT? WHAT, CAN YOU NOT SPELL A BASIC ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ENGLISH WORD? I'M SORRY, BUT THIS JUST IN FROM NASA, "WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT AFTER HOURS OF SEARCHING, EVEN WITH THE HELP OF THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE, WE WERE STILL UNABLE TO FIND ANY TRACE OF YOUR ♥♥♥♥.OR BALLS, SINCERELY... NASA. DAMN DUDE, I'M SO SORRY, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS GENTLY, SO I'LL JUST SAY IT, YOU MIGHT JUST BE A LITTLE ♥♥♥♥♥. WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR ♥♥♥♥ TO BE DECLARED LEGALLY DEAD?

IF YOU AIN'T HERE THEN WHO AM I GONNA HANG WIT DURING RNH??????

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＜ ´･ 　　 |＼
　|　３　 | 丶＼ - Hang in there!
＜ 、･　　|　　＼
　＼＿＿／∪ _ ∪)
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IM DELETING YOU, EUROPE!🇪🇺😭👋
██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete.....

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🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 ✔Europeans💃🇪🇺 are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Europe!💖 Send this to ten other 🇪🇺💃Europeans🇪🇺💃 who give you 💖👍💷£350 million a week💷💖👍 Or never get called a🌷🌼️🇬🇧 #bremainer🇬🇧🌷🌼️ again 🚫😢👎😢👎 If you get 0 Back: no human rights act for you 🚫🚹🚫🚺🚫🚼🚫♿ 3 back: An immigrant will boost the economy!! 5 back:🐄🇪🇺🇪🇺🐄 EU subsidies for your farm!! 🐖🇪🇺🇪🇺🐖 10+ back: You'll be an MEP !🇪🇺🇪🇺🇪🇺🇪🇺🇪🇺

IM STUMPING YOU, DONALD!😭👋

██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete.....

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🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 ✔Trumps 💃👴 are unstumpable 💖I could never stump you Donald "Because I don't want to, Greta" Trump!💖 Send this to ten other 👴💃Trumps👴💃 who make 🇺🇸🇺🇸America🇺🇸🇺🇸 great 👍 again Or never stump 👞 again

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up b00kshelf my name is tai but u can call me t3h Lamb0rghini oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see I have much knAwliDge!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet ppl like me _… im 42 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch my TEDx talk where I talk about how I read a b00k a day with a few more mentors (I'm not materialistic if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite TEDx talk!!! bcuz its SOOOO full of knAwlidgE !!!! Theyve got two thousand new books 2 of course but i want 2 meet more billionaires =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds up here in the Hollywood Hills so give me lots of knaWlidGe!!!! Boooks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me having kNawlIdge again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!
Love and bookshelves ,
t3h Lamborghini oF d00m

Hello am 48 year man from somalia. Sorry for my bed england. I selled my wife for internet connection for play "CS offense go" and i want to become the goodest player like you I play with 400 ping on brazil server and i am challenger 2. pls no copy pasterino my story."

Religions are highly evolved, complex mind viruses, not just 'bad things' but structurally, functionally viruses. They disable the mind's immune system with faith, take every other thought captive, and label dissenters as heretics and blasphemers. 'offensive' is a religious concept evolved to stop thought and speech, and anyone who is offended about anything can go ♥♥♥♥ themselves, including you.