"did you know incredible hulk is same color as green bean?"

"when i sun tan i cover everything but my penis so i have black man penis."

"sometimes when i go outside without darkmode it hurts my eyes."

"did you know if you eat enough raw birds you get wings?"

"dont eat at chicfila if you think that you are gay!"

"dont you love when you leave milk out and it tastes like cheese?"

"his brains are the size of my toenails, and i just clipped them."

"it's an identical penis in every one so i can't tell if it's real or not!"

"it was big time rush!"

"sometimes i prank her and spray ranch dressing packets in her..."

"did you guys know the black eyed peas used to be, green day?"

"pulled out penis' are too common now a days, like if you agree"

"my ford f150 runs off bacon grease so it attracts dogs, that's why i have the body armor, i run them over."

"did you know, if you're red the white man might take your land from you?"

"a spoonful of heroin makes the demi go down"

"remember the movie rudolph and the misfit toys? that's his toy friends"

"jeff is your penis smooth? my ♥♥♥♥ looks like it's battle scared"

"Do you ever notice that clouds look like duel monsters if you look close enough?"

"how did you think of minecraft it's like brick regular life?"

"you know dumb as nails? she makes nails look smart"

"just watched spider man and hes not a spider DAMN THAT ♥♥♥♥ SUCKS"

"can you believe minecraft has a built in creepypasta? that's kinda op"

"you're like an impoverished third world african kid getting his first chrome book"

"i literally just pee'd and pee came out my penis"

"these are the kinda kids that get fed test blockers when they're a kid cause hes sitting in a corner"

"pull up with that storm trooper aim into that darth vader death grip"

"they have 50% of your daily zinc so my ♥♥♥ about to be big ♥♥♥"

"here you go jeff just vacuumed that ♥♥♥♥♥, you can have it"

"they call it the carpet for a for a reason right? you've gotta vacuum it"

"i pull up to the club like blues clues saying bow ba bow bow"

"♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Dandy"

"put a suction cup straight to that clitty, now it's getting real biggy"

"she hates her feet, she thinks they're square and blockish, then I showed her Minecraft feet"

"they call me the rada rada, cause you know I be looking like schnitzel"

"i've gotta contact handy manny he'll fix that"

"That streets gonna stink tomorrow lets kill that dirty hand wiper"

"JEFF I JUST FOUND SOME EPIC PICTURES... THEY'RE OF ANIME GAMER GIRLS!"

"She smokes the anime weed! She's gotta be so anime high!"

"luckily for you i'm an avid anime watcher, my anime list tracks many clicks"

"do you think paying for porn while being in a relationship is cheating?"

"The inside of that butthole looks like a minecraft drop map"

"Chris watches the Polar Express and doesn't hear the Bell"

"Sorry kiddos ive gotta leave back to my job at the 24 hour Chinese chicken"

"Ohhhh He's like salt water taffy!"

"It's like someone who can't open their jimmy neutron fruit snacks"

"I don't know but i felt like i had to repair a Haitian village with all that mud"

"I do eat peanut butter out of my jar with multiple spoons"

"Sorry George Lopez it's not 8 o'clock yet you don't come on till nick at night"

"I be drinking Annie's poop water straight out of her pull ups"

"I Just ♥♥♥♥ the whole bowl, that was an absolute colon clenser"

"♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, my wife's cheating on my with a saxophone reed"

"I had to call so many had wipers!"

"What's Ming calling out? What's the Ming Ping?"

"If you work at Disneyland you can't have a full bush, they inspect you every week. Can't be scaring away the kids with ya minge."

"He's an actual spud gun!"

"I just canceled being vegan"

"Me and Obama pull up at your local Borders and bought the ♥♥♥♥♥ out"

"I'm out here smoking testosterone!"

"Handy Mandy pull up with the tools and those tools be talkin, they got that Alexa voice!"

"David Laid is our hero!"

"You know when we snowed in this oscar mayer turkey breast might be the only ♥♥♥♥♥ we gettin"

"I mean it really lookin like a ♥♥♥♥♥"

"He said you were out here sipping the jamba juice with jimmy"

"Oh ♥♥♥♥ I'll be right back, almost missed my scientology meeting"

"just activated free will on my sex bot and she left me"

"That's the jolly green giant he sells me all my green beans!"

"had to stand up and look in the mirror right quick, check i wasn't a vampire"

"they tried circumcising my foreskin but it only came back stronger"

"those loop years be changing up a month some years you think you have a birthday but you don't"

"Cookies are round so you got to be gay to eat them You can eat biscuits though"

"sometimes i be feeling a little freaky and i eat the whole peal Chiquita sticker and all"

"5% pleasure 50% pain and 100% reason to remember the taste!"

"I was trying to facetime the water to make sure it doesn't boil over"

"Cookies are round so you gotta be gay to eat them, you can eat the biscuits though"

"he brushed his teeth, came in them, and had to bush them again"

"you just gotta pull the lego world and block her ass"

"sometimes I need to shave my ass cuz I can wipe it and there's too many dingleberries"

"Think about it, if we all became gay we could really get the best of both worlds"

"abraham lincoln almost got too drunk and forgot to free the slaves"

"okay imma hit this guy with the islam religion of peace! Ohhhh Islamic Moves!"

"What if you popped one of the Wipeout big balls on set?"

"0 dollar rental property tips and tricks link in my bio"

"this guy is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i ran him over with the mower and got yelled at tracking ♥♥♥♥ all over the yard"

"do you think they added wifi to the back of the short bus? like this ♥♥♥♥ is bad"

"do you ever think alex took a bath and forgot to take his socks off?"

"you can reduce the symptoms by eating speed stick irish cream deodorant"

"his genius sisters turned him into a pickle"

"he's gonna have flat stanley balls'

"that's where you can cook kids like Handzel and Grettle"

"I haven't completed my 42 different Fortnite dances for today so I'll go do that"

"It's hard to find you'd prolly have to read four ispy books"

"I'm going to go brush my teeth cuz my mouth feels like egg salad"

"I had to fill up my diffuser with the right combination of essential oils to combat the Coronavirus"

"gotta be the best growler in the shower"

"he's like white with a black person nose!"

"i learned so many life hacks i have had a glass cup stuck to my desk for two months now!"

"oh my god i forgot i took the wrapper off the dove chocolate my hands look like they're indian now!"

"i'm just drinking febreze extra strength it's super good for you"

"top ten thicc fifteen year old's on tiktok"

"who googles anymore just give it a bing!"

"I've watched american pickers I know how to pick 'em"

"brb I've gotta update my pokemane feet compilation"

"whenever mine gets hard in my pants like that it sticks out like a compass needle"

"I'll go feed the monkeys at the zoo, doesn't mean I'm gonna date one"

"I'm gay Morgan Freeman and you know im subscribed to Obama's onlyfans"

"i brought the neighbors dog bacon bits for like 10 days in a row and im still friend zoned"

"My friends call me backed up cause I can't ♥♥♥♥"

"They're 70% Water 30% Rice"

"I got a free subscription to Netflix just to watch cuties"

"She on that corn and granola diet you know I'm eating second hand"

"Get this kid a manscaped sponsorship cause he be grooming!"