932 people found this review helpful
327 people found this review funny
50
15
83
6
13
5
5
2
2
7
6
5
5
4
2
65
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 50.4 hrs on record (33.3 hrs at review time)
Posted: Jun 19, 2022 @ 2:19pm

The year is 2008, imagine you're 15 and listening to a hardbass internet radio through your runescape client while you play call of duty 4. You quit pubstomping because your best friend pings you on steam and says get on vent, we're gonna do some surfing on TF2, a new map came out, it's also got sticky jumping in it. You stop playing at 10pm because you wanna go watch the cowboy bebop reruns before you go to bed. The world feels good.

Fast forward, the year is 2022, you have long covid, your memory is ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and you don't know left from right. Someone puts Neon White infront of you, Machine Girl is blasting in the title screen, you swear to god you just heard a familiar voice you can't place, was that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Spike? You enter the first map and it's like riding a bike, fast forward two hours you have the #1 global time for three maps, your synapses are restored, your covid is cured, your pores are clear, your wifes boyfriends coming over tonight with pizza, and your landlord calls and says your rent is going down $400. The world feels good again.

The game feels like if god personally made Quake for autistic bimbos like me.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
20 Comments
TESCO's finest* Feb 1 @ 2:14pm 
Wow, a ride of a review the whole way through. 4/4, would read again :cozyspaceengineersc:
AceOfSpuds Dec 23, 2023 @ 6:41am 
God tier review
/?/ Void /?/ Jun 13, 2023 @ 1:20pm 
What a godly review.
Mango Jul 21, 2022 @ 11:15pm 
thats real talk
verg4469 Jul 17, 2022 @ 7:28am 
lol best review ever
HighRoller Jun 26, 2022 @ 5:59pm 
Lol this review sold me the game
Mattrilix von Riordon Jun 26, 2022 @ 8:58am 
This is somehow the most accurate description of the vibe this game gives you....how the hell did you do that?
meowspark Jun 25, 2022 @ 10:51pm 
yeah
Broken Catalyst Jun 25, 2022 @ 6:27pm 
This might be the best review I've ever read on steam 10/10 I guess I'm buying this game now
Реккед911 Jun 25, 2022 @ 5:57pm 
"My wife's boyfriend just brings whipped cream and his boyfriend." LOL, this sounds like some of the convention room parties I have been to over the years.