Thank you for putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Sincerely, Jax.

Jax

Sincerely

Somebody has told you some strange things. I would never do that. I love you. Thank you. Have a nice night.

The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. The ♥♥♥ begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.

The ♥♥♥ accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the ♥♥♥ begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your ♥♥♥ sends one plane crashing to the ground.