I was born in 1864 in a log cabin I built myself. My parents were killed by tree people. For the next 7 years I was raised by a wolf, Penelope, whom I later ate in order to survive. I served in the Civil War, World War I, World War II, Korean War, Vietnam War, and the War on Terror. I became a lumberjack in 2002, fighting crime with my sidekick Jorge. I enjoy birdwatching, lock-picking, and designing clothes for dogs. My left leg is an arm. I currently work at a pottery shop. Any questions?