Thanks to my dads for being epic, and everyone I’ve known and gamer-ed with on this video game known as Feam Tortress Two.

Please message me for dad related inquiries.

From the ripe old age of three, Toilet. T. Timothy has begun swallowing crayons. He first began when a packet of crayons was left on a coffee table near him, and from that moment he was addicted. He has earned mulitple medals, including, but not limited to, the green crayon contest that was hosted in Sydney, Australia and the Crayon Olympics that were hosted in Japan; achieving a gold medal in both. The New York Times has labelled Timothy one of the most aspiring young talents that have popped up in the crayon eating industry, and he has also broken multiple world records in the 20 metres crayon eating contest, swallowing 100 metres of crayons in just 2 minutes. Totally, he has broken 15 records. Truly, Timothy is one of the greatest stars of our time.

Current dad count: 34

(by dad i mean an epic gamer/retard not a literal father because thatd be weird asf lmao)

Starman is my dad
Kaoski is my dad
MrPickle is my dad
Shadow is my dad
AccessXJ is my dad
The True Inferno is my dad
Pingas is my dad
Beni is my dad
BEN-E is my dad
CP is my dad
Bumble is my dad
Jia is my dad
Fluorescentbrown is my dad
Magoo is my dad
OneShotFox is my dad
Guy with a pie is my dad
Sentard is my dad
Gorgonzilla is my dad
Gluglug is my dad
SmokeyZeuz is my dad
Smazza is my dad
Jumper is my dad
Undrex is my dad
Andre is my dad
Meltrox is my dad
Agma is my dad
Hoste is my dad
Whovian is my dad
Mayo is my dad
Gunwrong is my dad
RemU is my dad
Table is my dad
Lux is my dad
Dillwax is my dad

Memes

Jia: you deserve to have your foreskin cut off with a rusty knife in the middle of a fucking park

fluorescentbrown: literal room temperature iq

*Starman dies of fall damage in Terraria*
<Starman>: kms
<sync>: you just did
<Starman>: s h u t

shadow: sync has four chromosonnes

fluorescentbrown: my dick retracts everytime a word comes out of your mouth

Jia: stop moving like a fucking retard you fucking spastic this isnt fucking call of duty faze clan

gluglug: can you not uwu for 5 m i n u t e s

SmokeyZeuz: im a tard

pingas: this nig wanks off to pictures of cartoon animals

MrPickle: im going to porn some noobs

kaoski (playing med in a hl official): help ive fallen and i cant get up

[16:22]
sync i have exams wont be on :c:
yes
oh wait fuck
i just
came up
with a god tier joke
ok
so what do you call a drunk person dancing

[16:22]
Starman:
sync

[16:23]
sync i have exams wont be on :c:
drink jiving
haha
got tem

[16:23]
Starman:
shut up

[16:23]
sync i have exams wont be on :c:
hahahahahaha

[16:23]
Starman:
ok heres a joke
a duck walked up to a lemonade stands
and he asked the man running the stand
"got any grapes"

[16:24]
sync i have exams wont be on :c:
mhm

[16:24]
Starman:
i thought you wouldve gotten it