Carlos Heinz » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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14 of 28 (50%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Unlocked Feb 18, 2021 @ 4:31am

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked Feb 18, 2021 @ 4:31am

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked Feb 18, 2021 @ 4:31am

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked Feb 18, 2021 @ 4:39am

Early Bird

Swallow every worm.
Unlocked Feb 18, 2021 @ 6:01am

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked Feb 18, 2021 @ 5:10am

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked Feb 18, 2021 @ 5:11am

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked Feb 18, 2021 @ 5:24am

A Better John

Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Unlocked Feb 18, 2021 @ 6:01am

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Unlocked Feb 19, 2021 @ 9:06am

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Unlocked Feb 19, 2021 @ 8:59am

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked Feb 19, 2021 @ 8:53am

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Unlocked Feb 19, 2021 @ 8:51am

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Unlocked Feb 19, 2021 @ 8:30am



Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
+3

3 hidden achievements remaining

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