Hey Dan it’s Jane here from work! Just curious if you are going to be at the work do this weekend? I sent you an invite in the post and was just wondering if you received it? You’ve also been ignoring my calls and I’m not too sure why? Was it the ketchup packets under the toilet seat prank or was it the firecracker in your turtles mouth prank that ticked you off? Kind regards Jane from work xoxo

Amazon Customer Support: Hi Charlie! You're 15 Gallons of lube is couldn't be delivered, we couldn't get access to your secure storage spot at the back of the school was innacessible. Please contact us to replace. Thanks.

wish his wife would be online more than him tbh

how wide can you gape xxx

prefer his wife over him tbh

-rep this guy keeps asking me if he can be my dilf, and keeps calling me a lil slutty weeabo
who the ♥♥♥♥ is this guy, he genuinely makes me extremely uncomfortable.

hi erm you look really cute and I love girl gamers haha, lets play left 4 dead sometimes, i'll defend you from the zombies and be you knight haha, you're cute, sorry if that was awkward haha xxxx anyways um I also heard you're into scat!! i love scat, I love the idea of being poo'd on. bye. xxxx

met this guy outside a pub in thailand, saw him chatting up some birds and said something a about immagrants, nice lad.

this guy is really fun and cool if you can ignore all his terrible political views and his attraction towards small asian women

-offered to pump his petrol at texaco but shoved the pump in my gannet and told me a little petrol boy

-rep squashed my nuts

+rep offered to cook me a lovely roast dinner, but -rep because he forced it down my throat and kicked me in the bladder

-rep old, needs to be unplugged soon

-rep tried to bum me outside a toby carvery

-rep wants to be abused

prick