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26 of 26 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

ANTIVAXXER

Kill the big bad RONA without using the vaccine
Unlocked May 2 @ 1:23pm

THE CURE

Kill the big bad RONA
Unlocked May 2 @ 1:23pm

I AM THE MANAGER

Kill Karen
Unlocked May 2 @ 4:43am

THIRD IMPACT

Kill Tesloborgelion
Unlocked May 3 @ 10:30am

I WANT TO BELIVE

Find the third installment
Unlocked May 2 @ 3:35pm

DOUBLE THE EXCITEMENT

Kill 5 hostiles with akimbo powerup active
Unlocked May 2 @ 1:00am

TAKE THE BLUE PILL

Kill 5 hostiles with quick pillz powerup active
Unlocked May 2 @ 1:31pm

GYMCEL

Kill 5 hostiles with steroids powerup active
Unlocked May 2 @ 4:50am

IT'S NOT WEDNESDAY MY DUDES

Find a certain secret not on wednesday
Unlocked May 2 @ 1:30am

TRYHARD

Get 100% on any of the levels
Unlocked May 1 @ 2:55pm

PSPSPSPSPS

Pet a cat
Unlocked Mar 22 @ 2:40pm

I AM CONFUS

Confuse at least 5 hostiles with piss
Unlocked May 2 @ 4:55am

HERPES GENITALIS

Burn at least 5 hostiles with piss
Unlocked Mar 22 @ 3:09pm

IT'S BIGGER WHEN IT'S WARM

Freeze at least 5 hostiles with piss
Unlocked Mar 22 @ 3:17pm

PISSIMIST

Piss on Tesloborgelion boy parts
Unlocked May 3 @ 10:29am

TINDER

Find all enemy codex entries
Unlocked May 3 @ 10:26am

DREAM WITHIN A DREAM, WITHIN A DREAM

Find all location codex entries
Unlocked May 3 @ 10:25am

SECOND AMENDMENT

Find all weapon codex entries
Unlocked May 2 @ 4:21pm

WELCOME TO THE COLONY

Kill a certain group of hostiles in the forest
Unlocked May 2 @ 11:38am

MUSIC SOOTHES THE SAVAGE BEAST

Kill a certain group of hostiles in the neighbourhood
Unlocked Mar 23 @ 12:58am

PREMATURE EVACUATOR

Finish any level below the speedrun threshold
Unlocked May 2 @ 1:27pm

RELOADING!

Use an ammo box
Unlocked May 2 @ 12:46am

CRACKHEAD

Use a health pipe
Unlocked May 1 @ 9:35am

GOD SAVE THE DUDE

Use portable armor
Unlocked Mar 22 @ 3:08pm

IT'S WEDNESDAY MY DUDES

Find a certain secret on wednesday, my dude
Unlocked May 8 @ 1:37pm

NO, U

Reflect 10 projectiles
Unlocked Mar 22 @ 2:25pm