Huge ♥♥♥♥♥♥. Avoid At All Costs. He And His Trio Throw Every Game They Play.

Hi, I trade my pudge arcana for any 10 sexual favors - if you want send me trade offer, I will accept

Bonjour ! Je suis un petit bonhomme qui aime la crème glacée. Miam miam miam, yummy dans mon tummy.

In the glittering tunnels of Sparktooth Warren, Vrax the Terrible ruled with an iron glare and very shiny boots. He was the biggest kobold in three burrows, scales crimson, horns polished, voice like a drum.

And then there was Pip.

Pip was small, mint-green, and hopelessly devoted. He carried Vrax’s cape (an old curtain), sharpened Vrax’s spear (a spoon), and announced his arrivals. “Make way! Dread Overlord coming through!”

One day Vrax declared, “I require tribute! Gold! Gems! Fear!”

Pip scurried off and returned with a button, a marble, and a very nervous mushroom.

Vrax stared. “This is not fear.”

Pip bowed. “The mushroom is terrified, my lord. I asked politely.”

The mushroom squeaked.

Vrax tried to maintain his dominance, but his tail betrayed him with a pleased wag. “You are absurd,” he growled.

Pip beamed up at him. “Yes, my lord.”

Vrax sighed, pulling Pip close with a clawed finger. “You may continue being mine.”

The mushroom fainted.

h-h-hey… um… th-this is super random and I’m literally vibrating while typing this but— 😳💦

peeks around the corner dramatically 👀

I-I noticed you across the hall… and when our eyes almost-maybe-probably didn’t meet for 0.3 seconds… my brain just went Windows shutdown noise 💻❌💥

clutches chest 💓😵

Y-you were just standing there… all cool and main-character-y… and I was in the background like a side quest nobody unlocked yet 🧍‍♂️➡️❓

I told myself, “Don’t look. Be normal.”
awkward finger guns 👉😅👉

A-anyway, I just wanted to say hi before I completely overthink this and uninstall social interaction forever 💀🖥️🗑️

attempts confident smile but glitches 🙂➡️😬➡️😵‍💫

O-okay I’m leaving now—! 🏃‍♂️💨
dramatically turns away, walks into door frame🚪💥🌫️

🐢🍫