You may be wondering how I am typing if I am a waffle. The story is that some idiot working at a nuclear plant accidentally dropped their soon-to-be lunch in some toxic waste casually strewn about like all nuclear power plants clearly do. Once that happened, I got telekinesis and the ability to float around on maple syrup. Then I fled the scene like the Roadrunner being chased by Wily Coyote, and took refuge in a toaster. Little did I know the toaster was running from the hydroelectric power of rain, and I slept cozy in that toaster before being ejected a whole 4 minutes later. But instead of doing the obvious next step of causing the apocalypse and killing all humans, I decided video games looked fun. So that is the story of how I managed to gain the ability to shove little plastic plates with letters on them down with my mind.