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9 of 10 (90%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

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Unlocked May 19, 2014 @ 2:40pm

Click on door 430 five times.

Click on door 430 five times.
Unlocked May 23, 2014 @ 6:30pm

Achievement

This is an achievement.
Unlocked Aug 23, 2017 @ 5:03pm

Welcome back!

Quit the game and then start it again.
Unlocked May 18, 2014 @ 9:32am

Speed run

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Unlocked May 23, 2014 @ 7:10pm

You can't jump

No seriously, we disabled it.
Unlocked May 19, 2014 @ 2:28pm

Go outside

Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
Unlocked May 25, 2014 @ 9:56am

Beat the game

Complete The Stanley Parable.
Unlocked May 18, 2014 @ 9:55am

Unachievable

It is impossible to get this achievement.
Unlocked Aug 20, 2017 @ 1:40pm



Commitment

Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.