I ran into you in a match and I’m genuinely convinced you’re an AI that escaped early testing 💀

Bro was moving like your keyboard is connected to a toaster. You stared at me like I owed you money instead of shooting, then somehow managed to turn every good situation into a documentary on poor decision-making.

At one point I thought you were baiting, then I realized nah… this is just your natural habitat. The awareness? Missing. The aim? Optional. The confidence? Astronomical for no reason.

You weren’t even playing the game, you were studying it from the inside like a confused scientist.

I’m not even mad, I’m just concerned. Please update your firmware 😭

After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard wiener push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.