I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a ♥♥♥♥ on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain.

Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can ♥♥♥. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to ♥♥♥ on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ experiences.

I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in ♥♥♥ and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, ♥♥♥♥ throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

So for the last few weeks I've been having this reoccurring fantasy where I climb into a horse's hussy and get railed in the ass by a second horse while it's having sex with the first.

On a completely unrelated note, do you know where a man can buy a couple of horses for cheap?

Let me tell you this, there ain’t no ♥♥♥♥ like horse ♥♥♥♥... you thought that 9” BBC you got that one time was big? Triple, quadruple even, the dimensions of it and you have horse ♥♥♥♥. Let alone the ♥♥♥, normal humans only pack about 1-2oz of ♥♥♥, a horse can pack 1-2 CUPS.

Oh, and have you heard about flare? How when a horse is about to ♥♥♥ it inflates the end of its clock to almost triple is original size. Also, horse ♥♥♥♥ can actually kill you if you don’t know what you are doing. it’s like sword swallowing, safe if you know what you are doing, and extremely dangerous if you don’t. Mr Hands in this case was a freak accident. This is why horse ♥♥♥♥ is obviously superior to human cook, and you can’t say you can handle big ♥♥♥♥ until you can handle horse ♥♥♥♥...