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That's a combined mass of 380,000,000 kg of C ock
Now we must make an approximation. For simplicity's sake, let us assume the C ocks are all evenly lined up in a ring around the equator. The equation for moment of inertia of a ring is I = mass*radius^2. The radius of earth is about 6.371 million meters. Therefore the radius of the approximated D ick ring is 6,371,000 + 0.80 = 6,371,000.8 meters.
I = 380,000,000*6,371,000.8^2 = 1.5424*10^22
The Earth has a moment of inertia, I = 8.04×10^37 kg*m^2. The Earth rotates at a moderate angular velocity of 7.2921159 ×10^−5 radians/second.
So in conclusion If we all have a boner at the same time, we will collectively be able to last 0.6752 nanoseconds longer in bed. Stay hard fellas.
SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK:
They both have;
1. The main character being cornered by the law
2. The main character having a massive internal conflict
3. The main character having the faith to tell the truth of their crimes due to their love of a woman
4. The main character being unreluctantly honest in their hearings
5. A spiritual revival by ‘living in truth’
6. Finally getting imprisoned (Though Raskolnikov only had 7 years, which coincidentally was the number of years Moon has been registered with steam 🧐)