If Laughing Kamala pardons the minions for their horrific war crimes overseas, then we might have a 50-state sweep on our hands. True American patriots want to see our boys in blue (overalls) home and free to get into slapstick-based shenanigans. Oh, and Laughing Kamala, let the minions fart again. They used to fart all the time. Now they only do it like once or twice a movie.

My ♥♥♥♥ is too big for my underwear. This is just me being real. My underwear is too small for my ♥♥♥♥, and if I get hard it’s gonna break through so please don’t upload images of old grannys in the reply section.

- rep: this is hate mail

+rep let me hit it from the back

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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN BANGED BY THE
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░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY BOOTY BANGER
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We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Daddy's ♥" has been declinded, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

The listing follows

- 1x Monster Dragon ♥♥♥♥♥ With ♥♥♥ Dispenser (15") $89.99
- 1x CCTV Footage of Local Playground and Preschool $15.99
- 6x Magnum condoms (XXXL) $24.45
- 1x Cummies Lubricant 44oz $19.99
- 1x Next day shipping $45.00
- 1x 240 Volt ScrewMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating ♥♥♥♥♥♥, elasticized ♥♥♥♥ with non-drip ♥♥♥♥♥ collection pouch, together with optional built-in realistic ♥♥♥♥♥♥ scream surround sound system $5,600.95
- 1x Frequent Shopper Discount (15%)

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a ♥♥♥♥ on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go.

After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can ♥♥♥. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence.

At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to ♥♥♥ on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in ♥♥♥ and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, ♥♥♥♥ throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

Me too except i already got it

Bastard man!

I'm commenting on your profile for the Steam community badge thing k thanks

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~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong black woman ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no man ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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