I have maybe only 2 or 3 friends who know about this, but I'm going to publicly confess this. I buy bubble tea with pearls and drink the tea, taking special care not to swallow any pearls. I take the pearls home and individually wash them off. Then I get undressed on the bed, stick the straw in my ass, and individually let the pearls down the straw. Gravity does most of the work, but sometimes they get stuck and I give the straw a little tap. I walk around and get used to the feeling of boba in my ass, and then wait till I need to ♥♥♥♥. I have a 96% ejection rate, but I'm not sure where the rest of them go.

⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢻⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢻⡟⠛⣿⡿⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿
⡟⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣾⣿⣧⠄⢻⡏⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⡟⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣄⠈⠙⠛⢻⣧⡄⠙⠛⠉⣠⣿⣷⣄⠈⠙⠛⢹⡇⠄⣿⣧⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿

After a good game in csgo, i added her because she seemed like a cool girl. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited her to my house for a csgo lan party. She said she was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When she arrived at my house, she pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard thing push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out it was a dude. Don't trust this guy.

+Rep he offered me $100 to play with his ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hairs

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣗⣯⣿⣶⣿⣶⡄
⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀
⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣧
⠄⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻⣿⣿⡄
⠄⢸⣿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⡟⢛⢻⣷⢻⣿⣧
⠄⠄⣿⡏⣿⡟⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣼⣿⢸⣿⣿
⠄⠄⣿⣧⢿⣧⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣴⣝⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣮⡻⠿⣿⠿⣟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⢃⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠄⠄⣿⣿⡟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿

+rep ez god player