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33 of 33 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Silence!

Interrupt Manger.
Unlocked Sep 13, 2022 @ 2:59pm

Window Shopping

Spend 15 minutes loitering without picking up the first task sheet during the intro.
Unlocked Oct 8, 2022 @ 9:33am

Whale

Obtained an SSR drop from a gacha machine.
Unlocked Sep 14, 2022 @ 3:19pm

Full-Time Employee

Reach one of the normal endings.
Unlocked Sep 14, 2022 @ 4:22pm

Part-Time Employee

Reach one of the joke endings.
Unlocked Sep 13, 2022 @ 5:34pm

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe

Achieved all endings.
Unlocked Oct 5, 2022 @ 1:45pm

Stonks

Obtained a paycheck with a positive number.
Unlocked Sep 14, 2022 @ 11:08am

Crippled

Obtained a paycheck with a negative number.
Unlocked Sep 21, 2022 @ 11:48am

The full picture

Read all Newspapers.
Unlocked Oct 8, 2022 @ 8:48am

Ice-cube connoisseur

Read all of Davey's notes.
Unlocked Oct 9, 2022 @ 9:56am

Observator

Read all of the Janitor's notes.
Unlocked Oct 9, 2022 @ 10:52am

[REDACTED]

Read all of the Cult's notes.
Unlocked Oct 9, 2022 @ 10:00am

Wrong Number

Called an available phone number.
Unlocked Sep 13, 2022 @ 5:33pm

Mr Hugh Jass

Called all available phone numbers.
Unlocked Oct 5, 2022 @ 1:17pm

Welcome to Gran Turbismo

Discover the 'Car' dimension.
Unlocked Sep 24, 2022 @ 7:22am

Lactose

Discovered the secret of the 'Milk' dimension.
Unlocked Sep 24, 2022 @ 3:05pm

Who the hell is this?

Placed all five polaroid photos on the 'Banned customers' board.
Unlocked Sep 24, 2022 @ 2:27pm

Mr Bones

Gave all bones to The Stranger.
Unlocked Sep 15, 2022 @ 11:49am

Where are the cartoon animals?

Landed a 3 pointer.
Unlocked Sep 14, 2022 @ 3:21pm

Mr Worldwide

Visit all dimensions in one playthrough.
Unlocked Sep 15, 2022 @ 2:09pm

Remember Dashcon?

Stand in the ball-pit for 5 minutes straight.
Unlocked Oct 5, 2022 @ 1:38pm

Parkour

Fell out of bounds.
Unlocked Sep 19, 2022 @ 3:11pm

Fiend

Encountered a Komodo Dragon.
Unlocked Sep 21, 2022 @ 12:08pm

My lungs!

Fed The Flesh some smokes.
Unlocked Sep 14, 2022 @ 4:28pm

Impending heart attack

Gulped down some form of drink.
Unlocked Sep 14, 2022 @ 2:53pm

Hackerman

Opened the Church door using a code.
Unlocked Sep 15, 2022 @ 11:30am

The Developer's Barely-Disguised Fetish

IT'S NOT ME?! IT'S THE OTHER GUY.
Unlocked Sep 14, 2022 @ 4:15pm

Overachiever

Did a task that wasn't on the list.
Unlocked Sep 14, 2022 @ 3:26pm

RIP In Peace

You died lmao.
Unlocked Sep 15, 2022 @ 5:32pm

Omega Speedrunner

Beat a "Bad ending" speedrun faster than a time of 0:45:11:00.
Unlocked Oct 5, 2022 @ 2:46pm

Ultimate Speedrunner

Beat a "Good ending" speedrun faster than a time of 0:25:17:00.
Unlocked Oct 5, 2022 @ 2:12pm

God Speedrunner

Beat a "Joke ending" speedrun faster than a time of 0:00:27:00.
Unlocked Sep 17, 2022 @ 3:19pm

World's best employee of The Month

Achieve all achievements.
Unlocked Oct 9, 2022 @ 10:54am