I was just standing in line...

Person: You should really spend less money here and more money on a Gym membership.

Me: -in total shock-

So I go to the counter to get my food..

Me: Hi can I get *my food order* And a box of SHUT THE ♥♥♥♥ UP for the person behind me.

The whole restaurant went quiet.

Some people had heard what the person said started clapping and cheering, I didn't get charged, and the guy never got served behind me.

As I walked out two women (Not girls, WOMEN, as they should be called and respected) asked me for my number, and one of them even gave me 20 dollars.

Today was a good day,

So there's a chick in my class I like; unfrotunately im quiet, calculated and intelligent and she likes big dumb jocks. So anyway one day me and her boyfriend are walking among a group of our fellow students when a gang banger appears and threatens with a gun. Her 'big and though' boyfriend instantly freezes and loses the ability to speak. I on the other hand squint my eyes and step forward pulling my katana for judo practise out in one fell swoop . "Go ahead" I say. "The gun is only 400 years old while the sword is the child of many millenia. Do you fancy the odds?" Instantly the gang-banger drops his weapon and runs. My other classmates cheer while her jock boyfriend pretends the whole thing was funny. She looks at me and sees what she didnt see before. She thanks me with a kiss, but I dont smile because i was only doing my duty. Safe to say she saw who a real man was that day. I may be quiet and collected, but raise a weapon against me and youll face your worst nightmare.

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Nice VAC loser

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