There is only one way to be happy by means of the heart -- to have none.
-- Paul Bourget
🤠
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
😴
Feminists just want the human race to be a tie.
🤤
"Wait a second, aren't you a member of the yacht club?" -Bender
"My God, you're right. I'm a class 3 yacht." -Countess de la Roca
😘
Being owned by someone used to be called slavery -- now it's called commitment.
🤗
George: [a parody of "The Jetsons": George and Roy are on the dog walking treadmill, a cat appears, Roy chases him] Help! [he falls]
George: Jane! [he falls again]
George: Stop this crazy thing! [he falls again]
George: Ahh! [falls]
George: Help! [falls]
🤤
You must realize that the computer has it in for you. The irrefutable
proof of this is that the computer always does what you tell it to do.
😗

Lindu