f every male on earth got a boner at the same time, the earth's rotation would slow down. let us assume the penises are all evenly lined up in a ring around the equator. The equation for moment of inertia of a ring is I = mass*radius^2. The radius of earth is about 6.371 million meters. Therefore the radius of the approximated ♥♥♥♥ ring is 6,371,000 + 0.80 = 6,371,00.8 meters.
The Earth has a moment of inertia, I = 8.04*10^37 kg*m^2.
Using Conservation of Angular Momentum we can find the new rotation of the earth.
L = I*omega = 8.04*10^37 kg*m^2 * 7.2921159 * 10^-5 = 5.86286*10^33.
5.86286*10^33 = (8.04*10^37 + 1.5424*10^22) *omega -> solve for omega = 7.292115899502489e-05
This is 4.97511e-15 rad/s slower than the earth's original rotation. This translates to 6.752*10^-10 seconds = 0.6752 nanoseconds longer per day. If we all have a boner at the same time, we will collectively be able to last 0.6752 nano seconds longer in bed.

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I just heard someone clap behind me when I looked back it was just my ass cheeks that were clapping.