One time when I was 12 years old I went fishing with my dad and I caught a fish it was like a bass or something pretty small, and my dad told me to throw it back in the water.
But instead I put it in my pants and it squirmed around in there and due to its sliminess I came, and I didn't want anyone to find out so I just kept it in there, and I could feel it stop movie and it dies like an hour later.
I then took it home with me in my pants and since it was dead, I used it's mouth and since I didn't want to throw it away, because I loved using it, I kept it in my freezer, where I kept using it for about 3 months, then my mom walked in my room and said it smelled really fishy in there and she had no clue there was a CUMMY fish in my freezer. Since I didn't want to get cought, I figured I would throw it away asap, so I waited for a day where no one was home, then took out the fish and put it in a bag and threw it away, and till this day no one knows but me...

I’ve been using topical minoxidil to grow a beard because people keep saying I look like that kid from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody even though I am on 200mg of TRT. I apply it after showering at night, but my girlfriend and I usually have sex before bed, and I’m into eating ass (don't judge).

Here’s the issue: despite barely seeing any progress on my beard, I’ve noticed a lot of hair growing around my girlfriend’s butthole. She has no idea what’s going on and is freaking out, and honestly, I’m not too happy about it either. I was all for eating ass, but now there’s too much hair, and at this point it’s a huge turnoff because it reminds me of eating a man’s ass.

If I stop using the minox, will her butt hair go away, or am I stuck with this? Not sure if I should tell her the truth? I don't want to admit it’s my fault. I'm honestly thinking about just breaking up with her. It sucks because she has one of the best buttholes I have ever seen on a woman.

Please be careful guys. I used to have great relationships with everyone in my life but now my world is just as upside down as my son's ♥♥♥♥.

I was just sipping my coffee when I heard a loud ahh noise from my son's room, unaware of what was happening, I immediately went to check on my son, to make sure everything is OK with him,fortunately,(or rather, unfortunately) the door was unlocked.

Right as I got to the door and unlock it, it opened to my son standing there buttnaked and standing at full mast, I was absolutely appalled and just simply shocked with a pang of confusion and horror, I was taken aback, and at a loss for words. He was standing butt naked on the door, full mast (absolute weapon btw),trying to explain himself but he might as well have just owned up to it.

Thankfully he's going to college soon so he can goon in peace, but it's unfortunate what has transpired. This knowledge is now passed onto everyone else in our family.

I want to ♥♥♥♥ a toaster. Just the thought of stuffing my ♥♥♥♥ in a tight little breadslot makes me rock hard. I could ♥♥♥♥ it on the counter, on the kitchen table, or anywhere else it wants. I could dress up like a maintenence tech for some sensual roleplay beforehand. I am a slave to the toaster's whim. I want to stick my fingers inside the bread slot and whisper "yeah you like that you toasty ♥♥♥♥♥?" Then I want to mount it when it's good and teased and then gyrate my hips like a rabbit with tourettes until my melted ♥♥♥♥ explodes inside the toaster's tight slot. When I'm done my ♥♥♥♥ will look like a burnt sausage that had it's casing popped open with melted cheese dripping out of it and the thought of that makes me want to break into a Walmart again. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I want to ♥♥♥♥ a toaster.

Sometimes I jack off just to eat my ♥♥♥,I wait a week or so I can get plenty of it, combined with regularly drinking a lot of water I get a lot of my sperm as a meal.Other than that from my years old experience I also have learned the taste varies on your recent diet.Eating my ♥♥♥ so much has kind of desensitized me to it and I fail to understand why most men are disgusted by it since it's just as gross as eating boogers or women drinking thier breast milk.Its just you're own material apart of you and there's nothing inherently dirty about it.If eating is gross then touching your own ♥♥♥♥ or having ♥♥♥ on your hands after jerking it is just as gross

I would recommend any guy reading this to try it at least once if they haven't already.Theres nothing gross about eating your own semen, societal cognition has only told you so

Eating your own ♥♥♥ is amazing and there's nothing gross about it

A few years back when I was younger I was at home alone waiting for my mom to bring food home and I was really hungry that day.I couldn't wait and decided to masturbate out of boredom.Once I came I got my ♥♥♥ on my hands and wondered what it would taste like, I ate it and surprisingly wasn't too disgusted by it.Then slowly but surely I started to eat it whenever I jerked off and actually liked it as it has a nice sour sweet salt taste.Its also a much cleaner and safer method of getting rid of it after getting off since you won't stain it on anything or have to use wipes or anything else.

It started a while ago. I was a normal redditor making posts and comments, but then one day, a post of mine was manually deleted, and I was banned from my favorite subreddit. I then got extremely aroused. That moderator asserted dominance on me by censoring me, making me unable to express myself. I was soaking wet. I sent the hot sexy mod a message asking why I was banned, then the hot sexy reddit incel mod called me an idiot, and told me to beg to get unbanned. My nipples immediately filled with blood as I begged the hot mod to unban me. After that, I started doing everything I could to make hot sexy mods mad. Most of my accounts have under negative 100 k@rma, and i'm banned from dozens of subreddits. I've been a bad redditor, and need to be moderated. Please moderate me, hot sexy reddit mods.

>this guys dad gave him a handshake on his birthday
>his dad has almost certainly touched his own ♥♥♥♥ with that hand
>by shaking his hand, this guy touched his dad’s ♥♥♥♥
>TFW this guy is an incestuous gay

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⡁⠄⣼⡄⣀⣀⣠⣼⠄⠄
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⢘⣯⡷⣵⡾⣿⢡⡄⢾⣽⣯⢿⠹
⡿⣛⣭⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣌⡓⠼⡵⣿⢍⣾⣇⡷⣷⣻⢏⠂
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⣯⣷⣿⣻⣽⣿⢿⣾⢿⡛⠄⣰⣶⣶⣬⣙⢿⢠⠃⠄⠄
⣽⣯⣿⣻⣿⣽⣿⣻⣟⠃⣼⣿⣯⣿⣽⣿⣳⣌⠆⠄⠄
⡿⣾⣟⣯⣷⣿⢾⣻⠆⣾⣻⣷⢿⣯⣷⡿⣯⡿⣆⠄⠄
⣻⡿⣽⢿⣽⢾⣻⠕⣸⣯⣿⣻⡿⣯⣷⣿⣟⣿⣽⡀⡀
⡷⣟⣟⣿⣺⡻⡚⠠⣷⣿⣽⣟⣿⢿⣽⣾⣯⣷⢿⡲⠰
⢺⡳⣝⣜⢘⢘⠄⢸⢳⡿⣾⣻⣽⣿⣻⡾⣷⣻⢿⢵⣼
⣧⡙⢎⢮⢪⢂⠅⢠⠹⣝⣯⣟⡷⣯⡷⣟⡯⡯⡯⢸⣿
⣿⣿⢈⢎⠎⡢⢈⣿⣷⣜⢜⢞⡽⣳⡻⣝⠮⡣⢃⣿⣿
⣿⡏⡎⣎⢎⢄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣅⠇⢗⢝⢜⠜⠄⢻⣿⣿

Before having unprotected sex w/ your partner give your best friend a blowjob… what happens is since you swallow all your friends semen, it makes it so now his semen is in your body so if you finish inside your girlfriend and she gets pregnant your body won’t use your sperm cause it actually has to produce it, it’ll use your friends sperm instead… then that way when she tries getting like- when your girlfriend tries getting a DNA test on you to prove paternity so she can get child support on you it’ll come back negative and you gonna force your friend to pay your child support for you, does that make sense?

im going to travel back in time.. find an dinosaur egg.. bring it back to the future, sit on it til it hatches, raise it, love it, and then watch it mangle your lifeless and helpless carcass.. while I touch myself inappropriately

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⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜🟫🟫⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜

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⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠆⠄⢰⡿⢿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡛⠛⠄⠄⣿⡿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿
⣿⡹⣿⡇⠄⣠⣀⣸⣆ 🧿 ⣸⣿⣿⣷⡀🧿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⣷
⣿⣷⢸⣁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣦⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠻⣿
⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀🐽 ⠈⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿
⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠂⠄⠈⠉⢠⣾⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢠⡀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣷⡄⠀⠣⣄⡀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⣿⣿⣦⠀⠹⣿⣷⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⢛⡙⢻⠛⣉⢻⣉⢈⣹⣿⣿⠟⣉⢻⡏⢛⠙⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣇⠻⠃⣾⠸⠟⣸⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⡀⠴⠞⡇⣾⡄⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⠛⣃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

NICE LIGHTNING STORM

send me a thing for terraria