I've spent a lot of money on this platform, enough to let me fall into a depression so deep that I on a daily basis spend thirty minutes appreciating how the color blue has an underlying verisimilitude that is irrevocably nested within a multi-layered metaphysical substrate. This is something which I fundamentally conflate with but at the same time spiritually connect with and love. Just kidding, I don't love anything; love is merely a phycological phenomena that tells us that we encompass a variety of strong and positive emotional states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure. you see the problem with me is that I have never felt any positive emotion whatsoever. or maybe I have but I simply did not notice it. but if that is the case and positive emotion isn't even noteworthy to begin with, then what's the point. at this point i just accept the fact that I'm never going to be happy.