My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your aim gave me cancer anyway.

Hi! Just reaching out to notify you that your order for the following will be delayed for at least another week:
1x 14 inch "monster ♥♥♥♥ with fluid deposit functionality"
2x 30 Day Courses of Penis Enlargement Pills, guaranted to gain an inch a day - you're going to be a monster after that one, send progress pics!
1x Urethral sounding rod
1x Pineapple Express on DVD

We sincerely apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. We will include a free litre of personal lubricant for every day late the shipment is.

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Have a very Merry Christmas
And a tranquil New Years