Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51 contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping... Holy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥! Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa did a slow-mo Matrix descent outta the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip, and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my ♥♥♥♥♥♥' pants." so light in his way, like an apparition, that he had me crying out, "♥♥♥♥ me It's gotta be the Deadhead Chemistry the blotter got right on top of me, got me seein' E-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥'-T!" and after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not." Me. The Chosen One? They chose me!!! And I didn't even graduate from ♥♥♥♥♥♥' high school. You'd better... You'd better... You'd better... You'd better listen. Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes don't even know what that means must remember to write it down this is so real like the time Dave floated away see, my heart is pounding 'Cause this ♥♥♥♥ never happens to me I can't breathe right now! It was so real, Like I woke up in Wonderland. All sorta terrifying I don't wanna be all alone while I tell this story. And can anyone tell me why y'all sound like Peanuts parents? Will I ever be coming down? This is so real finally, it's my lucky day see, my heart is racing 'Cause this ♥♥♥♥ never happens to me I can't breathe right now! You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I've just said! See the Dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head. See, they took me by the hand and invited me right in. Then they showed me something I don't even know where to begin. Strapped down to my bed feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head Am I alive? Am I dead? Can't remember what they said ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥ the bed. Hey ... Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. Such a heavy burden now to be the One Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending, To write it down for all the world to see. But I forgot my pen ♥♥♥♥ the bed again ... Typical. Strapped down to my bed Feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head Am I alive? Am I dead? Sunkist and Sudafed, Gyroscopes and infrared, won't help, I'm brain dead can't remember what they said ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥ the bed, I can't remember what they said to me can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero can't remember what they said, Bob help me! Can't remember what they said We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know We don't know, and we won't know
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥ the bed!