Recent reviews by FearTheBoomstick

What can I say? The devs listen to their fanbase. They even got Sony to listen.

That's not something you see every day.

I wanted to like The Count Lucanor. The trailer showed its beautiful visual appeal, and I'm a sucker for well developed characters and story. I got a huge kick out of Undertale, which while a little simplistic and saccarine at times (at least on the mercy playthrough), had solid pacing and never grew overambitious. I say this because, when I bought The Count Lucanor, I was really hoping for was another Undertale -- solid gameplay (point and click puzzles instead of bullet hell shooting) with strong narrative to keep me invested.

I just don't feel The Count Lucanor met me half way.

Count Lucanor wants to explore the duality of European fairytale: Something that opens with childhood whimsy but seems to turn morbid the moment the storyteller decides their impetuous little charge is starting to lose interest. It wants to be a "Heinrich Hoffman, eat your heart out" kind of story. Good concept, I was behind it 100% of the way. Depth and dichotomy are the cornerstones of good characters and plot. So where were they, Baroque Decay?

I played this game the way I play most creepy games. I get some friends together with some snacks, and we sit around a computer, alternating who plays and who sits around eating snacks, berating the current player's decisions, and making snarky comment on the dialogue. Pounding horror games in single sittings where psychological fatigue would otherwise slow us down. Good old family fun. But by the end of our most recent session, it was kindly recommended that I return the game and get my $10 back. We made it in about 1.75 hours, so I'm going to do just that.

Let's start with the character, Hans. Hans is your stereotypical fairytale child. He's fussy, entitled (somehow, in spite of being a peasant), and wouldn't be bothered to learn any moral lessons if fate didn't occasionally provide some horrifying shoggoth to sprinkling chopped nuts on his head while he considers his life choices. There wasn't inherently anything wrong with this choice, but it doesn't mean the writers had to forgo making him the slightest bit relatable.

Hans is a little prick. Maybe they're setting up his character development for later, but an important part of intriguing characters is that they have redeeming qualities, because otherwise I'm practically thrilled when bad things happen to them. But he's the protagonist, so I'm supposed to be invested in him accomplishing his goals, because otherwise Hans and I have a severe conflict of interest.

In the time I played, no other characters stood out either. Each one was wholly one-dimensional. I'm sure the excuse could be made that this was in keeping with the European Fairytale theme, where complexity is an afterthought at best, but the use of inspiration is that it's a jumping off point, not a pig sty to wallow in. Characters are simple in fairytales because they're geared towards children.

The morally choices early on are also blandly inspired by European fairytale, where nuance flies out the window. 3 people will ask you for handouts on the way to your medieval feverdream. Cast out of your mind any questions of, "will this come back to haunt me later?", the answer is no. The items you're given in the game are either readily replaceable, or just plain unnecessary anyway, so the moral dilemma is "do you want these characters to resent you later or not?"

And because all those characters are bland and uninteresting anyway, the correct answer is yes.

The puzzles are ripped directly from The Legend of Zelda, so maybe that'll be a strong point for you. I'm a heretic who never played the series, so Zelda and his green tunic don't hold any nostalgic value to me, and neither do dated block-pushing puzzles. Indie games have the privilege of getting so beautifully experimental with their puzzles because they're not expected to maintain broad accessibility, why you'd settle for the white noise of the puzzle world is a troubling curiosity.

Maybe the experience starts to pick up past the second hour? Sorry Baroque Decay, you knew you were releasing on steam, I don't think asking you to get me hooked within 120 minutes is an absurd request. Theatres earn their $10 on ~120 minutes of content alone, and I can't even tug it during the boring parts.

I paid 50c for this and I want my gumball back.