good profile, dominant player

need a mommy gf to let me lay on her lap and have her call me a good boy fr fr

bacon...

cat?

Got a cat here
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ＿＿
　　　　　／＞　　フ
　　　　　| 　_　 _ l
　 　　　／` ミ＿xノ
　　 　 /　　　 　 |
　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ
　 　 │　　|　|　|
　／￣|　　 |　|　|
　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__)
　＼二つ

Not sure what to do in this situation. Almost the same happened to one of my roommates, but she was unlucky not to notice the mine and passed away. Fortunately, she was eating my protein with no permission so it was mostly a relief for me. It is very strange, because despite the fact that we were not talking much with this guy as he is from Serbia and doesn't speak English, when he spoke to me about the weather it was our first verbal conversation and he had a pretty decent British accent.
What should I do? Please, do not advise calling the landlord - he is currently on vacation at Miami beach and has not responded to emails/phone calls for five years now.

I am renting a room in Dublin with several people. Mostly we have a very friendly environment. But there is one guy who acts a little bit off. So, basically, I recently came back from gym and was feeling weary so I went to my room, but the door was taken off the hinge and my roommate was sneaking in my room. When I entered the room, I noticed that my bed was disassembled and there were a lot of metal fragments everywhere. He was standing his back to me, but I saw he had some kind of a tool kit in his hands. The moment he noticed me he just dropped everything he had and started a casual monologue about the weather. As soon as I started talking he immediately left in haste. When I approached my disassembled bed I found a planted TMRP-6 anti tank mine under my mattress.