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After the first week of being vegan I woke up ripped. My toes had so much muscle mass they looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger. My biceps were so heavy I wouldn’t be able to lift them if I wasn’t vegan. My neck had become a pyramid of muscle and vein and I was so strong I didn’t need to take my car to work, I just walked there and the city moved underneath me somehow. After the second week I laid an egg and out popped a smaller version of me. I took him with me everywhere and together we laughed at meat eaters and bashed the skulls of school children eating Lunchables. Finally on the third week I transformed into an ascended being, I shredded my human form and became a beautiful celestial piece of broccoli. Now I move across the universe blessing worlds with my wisdom of all things. I am officially a vegan.
Rope sale @ Bunnings! Go stock up rn!!!!!!!!
Sitting on a toilet's seat that is still warm from the last person is the closest I’ve come to physical contact with another human in 10 years.
Sometimes when I’m feeling really alone I’ll stroll down to the nearby park/Library and read a book with an eye on the bathroom. If someone enters and is in there for more than 3 minutes I mark my spot with a bookmark and patiently wait for them to exit. The second the door opens up and they walk out of it, I instantly stride quickly, right in front of them, to the stall before the warm porcelain hug fades. after that i proceed to sit on the warm toilet seat and i just inhale the other person's scent and aura that's still lingering around.
anyways i was just wondering, do you guys think this is a weird thing to do, because i just feel like it's really a normal human interaction and people really to stop judging me for doing this ...
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