I'm an abnormality who thinks Rattata is the best Pokemon and that Heavy is the only playable class in Team Fortress 2.

I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.
You know, when I left the house today I was thinking, “Damn,"
"I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hallway.”
And here we are.
I mean really, just absolutely destroy me.
I’m talkin' full on watermelon-in-the-thighs level of carnage.
I mean I want fighting back to just...embarrass me, if anything.
And I want it to scare the ♥♥♥♥ outta me.
I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little "peepee pisspiss boy."
I want you to ♥♥♥♥ me up.
I mean I want you to make me your ♥♥♥♥♥.
Your little peepee-piss-myself-♥♥♥♥♥.
I want it to get embarrassing.
I mean like... weirdly embarrassing.
Unsanitary too.
Do you understand what I’m trying to say here?
I mean I’m a real freak, I’m not normal.
I want it to get medically inadvisable.
I want the neighbors to worry, hell I want them to call the cops.
And when the cops show up, I want them to worry too.
We should be entirely different people by the end of the first 8 hours.
You look like you’re not following.
Are you paying attention? Do you understand?
I’ve thought about this a lot, so I can go into as much detail as you need.
I’m a real explorer.
I do have limits, probably.
I’ve just spent my whole life trying to figure out where they are.
That’s why I need your help.
Please, you have to crush me.