Recent reviews by Jaymes

This game..man, it's trippy as anything. If this doesn't get you talking about privacy, I don't know what will!

Oh dear. I was hoping that it wasn't going to come to this, but it seems like every hack is jumping on the MLP bandwagon in order to make some quick cash off guillible manchildren who have the same mental age as the target audiance. With that quick jab at the vast majority of "Bronies" aside, let's move on the game itself, and what a train crash it is.

For a start, the textures seem to glitch out at random, and flicker at such at speeds likely to induce seisures. The character models look creepy as anything, like something that was put through a cheapening process, like the vast majority of knock-offs you see in your cheap shops.

It's like..a sims fan and a "Brony" had an argument over what game to make, and this was the hideous result. A single-player MMO that's even more tedious than most MMOs put together! £4 for this? Are you joking?

This gets a very tenuous reccomendation from me, as..well, it's not a remaster by any stretch of the imagination. As many have said, and I will say again, there is nothing to support the idea that it's a remaster. I mean, Team 17 could have just as easily not used that word, and release it in a smilar state to Worms Amageddon, and I think everyone might have taken kinder to it. This is could be considered false advertisement, and with good reason. If it's not what it claims, then people will call you out on it.

That being said, the good points I can make about the game are that..well, it's the WWP game, unchanged, and maybe, it's a good thing. Aside from the naff effects, which you can thankfully turn off. That..seems to be it, really.

Like I said, I can't give it a full reccomendation, since it's not 'remastered' anymore than just slapping a patch on it. If you don't have it already in any form, you might consider getting it. If you do, then it's a little pointless, since you can get the same thing using mods already. If T17 dropped the word, and just stated that it's a new patch for Steam, then maybe, they might have a chance. Right now? I'm not in a hurry to reccomend it.

Oh dear, Oh dear.

Before I begin, I would like to point out the major problem I have with most "free to play" games, Well, two.

1. They suck
2. They seem to all be based of the "Farmvile Forumla"

Do not get me wrong, there are plenty of Free to Play games that do not do that, like Tribes Ascend, Star Trek Online after the F2P conversion, and a few others that operate on the concept of "Pay because you're having fun and want to support it." not "Pay because you have to." Those games are fine. Hell, I enjoy playing STO still, even after the F2P change.

Stronghold Kingdoms, on the other hand..is a medival reincarnation of Farmvile, but even more hands off! I came into the game expecting a cut-down version of Stronghold, but what I got out of it was pretty much like the fabled "Age of Empires Online".

When you're put into the game, you're given a basic tutorial, and some things to help. Sadly, it's not much (unless you preordered Crusader 2, or bought the starter pack for some reason), and even if you manage to make do, it's only a matter of time before you run into some barrier, like lack of resources or even not having enough gold. When that happens, you either have to bug your friends, making them hate your guts forevermore, or get your credit card and pay up, which, again, seem very much like the Facebook games we're all spammed with.

So then, would I reccomend this game? Are you joking?! It makes me worry for the future of a decent series, being all pay to win and such.

Oh dear. Godus V1 was a shell of a Free to Play mobile game, and a terrible one at that, with the bones of a "pay to win" system. Is Godus V2 any better? Of course bloody not! It's essentially the same crap, but with a V2 label on it! It's just another way to have their "pay to win" bollocks without being upfront about it, which is worse!

But the crowning glory of crap on this, is that with Molyneux's experience in making decent games, he's ended up as another George Lucas! If you want a good sim, and you want one made by him, look at populus, do not get this.

I just feel that Receiver is more of a novelty, more of the whole "Games are Art" argument than actual gameplay. "It will rip your muscle memory apart!" Some say, but I feel it's more "It will rip the muscles in your hands to shreds!", as 15 minuites later, my hands were barely useable, and I was in a great deal of pain.

I can hear the cries of "Hypocrite! Something, Something, Call of Duty, Something!", but don't get me wrong, I think COD is an unrealistic pile of uselessness, while Receiver does show the whole gunplay thing, I cannot help but feel that it's made the same mistake as the MMS games it's trying to avoid being, namely, lacking a health meter! Yes, yes, yes, I know it's not realistic, but I thought we binned realism when we had strange insectoid trolls exploring the planet Zog!

While I'm at it, your character seems to be killed easily by a sneeze more than anything else, and holding down buttons to do something? Really? I thought those died out back in the late 90's!

Anyway, it just seems to be an art experiment someone wanted to try, but as a game..it's not really that fun.