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unironically racist
I was born into a family of non-yeeters. Every morning before I went to school my father would say, "if I ever find out that you've hit that yeet, I'll thump ya."
"Yes, pa," I would always reply. It was a regular occurrence for him to burst into my room unannounced while I was relaxing or doing homework.
"Y'all hitting that yeet?" he would seeth.
"No, pa," I would answer.
"Good." He would then walk out the room and shout, "If I ever catch ya, it's a thumpin'."
It was a difficult upbringing. I had seen my friends hittin' that yeet at school, and many of them encouraged me to partake.
One day, when I was still but a wee lad, I became curious. I was in my room, watching Instagram videos of fellas my age hittin' that yeet all over town without a care in the world. My intentions got the better of me. I stood up, my knees trembling. Carefully, I leaned onto my right foot and raised my hand in the air.
I breathed in.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"
My father burst from my closet. "I told you I'd thump ya if I ever caught you hittin' that yeet, ♥♥♥♥♥," he ejaculated. Then, he thumped me.
I haven't hit that yeet since.
Until today. This morning was my father's funeral. At the procession, my brother asked me to say a few words. I told him I only needed one.
With confidence, I approached the podium. I gazed out upon the gathering of sad faces. I cleared my throat and leaned into the microphone.
"Yeet," I spake.
Suddenly, my father leapt from his hand-crafted mahogany coffin, the gunshot wound still in his chest. He sprinted up to the podium with the energy of a man without a gunshot wound in his chest.
"Y'all hittin' that dirty ♥♥♥♥♥♥' yeet at my funeral?" he ejaculated. He raised his hand to thump me.
"Not so fast, pa." I grabbed his hand. "Yaint thumpin' no mo'."
My father looked at me with eyes as open as the gunshot wound in his chest. A tear fell from his right eye, which also had a monocle. "The student becomes the teacher," he said.
"The student becomes the yeetcher," I corrected him.
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| NO MERCY
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| FOR CHEATERS
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< ´・ |\
| 3 | 丶\ -
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...\ : : : : : : : : : : :\: /: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : “,: : : : : : : : : : :"~,_
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... ...\: : : : : : : : : : \: : : : : : : : ( O ) : : : : : : \: : : : : : : : : : : : : : '\._
... ... .\ : : : : : : : : : '\': : : : : : : :"*": : : : : : : :|: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : |0)
... ... ...\ : : : : : : : : : '\: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :/: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : /""
... ... .....\ : : : : : : : : : \: : : : : : : : : : : : : ,-“: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :/
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... ... ... ... \,: : : : : : : : : \: :"”'~---~”" : : : : : : : : : : : : = :"”~~
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HERE IZ DER MAUZ!
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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN BANGED BY THE
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░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY BOOTY BANGER
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XD