Dr. Hotdog Bitchface
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
 
 
Hi there! I'm the Hotdog Bitchface.


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Hi guys! My name is Hotdog Bitchface
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Achievement Showcase
2,186
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4
Perfect Games
24%
Avg. Game Completion Rate
Review Showcase
10.5 Hours played
Welp. It certainly brings new meaning to the term “single player” I suppose.

I should begin by saying that I’m not terribly experienced with dating simulators. Outside of Hatoful Boyfriend which I absolutely loathed, the last dating sim I played was some flash-based game on Newgrounds called Ganguro Girl back in 2002 - a guilty (…) pleasure back in my younger days. Due to the sour taste that Hatoful Boyfriend left in my mouth, I lost interest in the abundance of dating sims now plaguing Steam. It took a special video to pique my interest:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcGPYxpPt6Q)

And so I played it. I played it for 10.5 hours, apparently. Somehow, I even got my non-gaming girlfriend hellaciously addicted to it.

[h1]Story[/h1]

Huniepop begins with a dream sequence, in which you meet a very perky and attractive female. After some pathetic attempts at flirting, you wake up in your bedroom and find a “love fairy” in your room, who spends the rest of the game helping you pick up girls that are so stereotyped that it puts Mean Girls to shame. Such stereotypes include skanky teacher, skanky milf, skanky high schooler, weird spiritualist, geeky girl, mega bitch and a young single mum, among others. Your goal is to sleep with each and every one of them.

[h1]Gameplay[/h1]

The developers described the game perfectly. For those too lazy to read the top right of their screen right now, the basic gist of it is that it’s half dating sim, half match-three puzzle game with an awful lot of “plot”.

The dating sim portion of the game involves you talking to each of the girls, asking them questions and every so often, answering their questions, which may include them quizzing you on questions that they’ve asked you. Talking to girls and answering their questions correctly earns you points, which can be used to purchase upgrades to your stats (charisma, sexuality, etc), which will make the other main portion of the game (the puzzle portion) easier. You can also earn these points by buying gifts for your target waifu.

After you’re done talking, you can choose to take a girl on a date. The dating portion of the game plays as a very simple match-three puzzle game. Each gem on the screen has a different purpose, and your goal is to match three or more of these gems to earn enough “affection” to successfully complete the date. Just like the real world, certain girls seem to favour some attributes more so than others – matching three “sexuality” gems may work wonders for the cougar lady, but won’t quite do against the shy little geeky one. Other gems don’t contribute directly to the affection count, but assist you in earning more affection. The passion (pink hearts) gem, for example, provides passion which will increase the amount of affection that other gems provide, whilst the sentiment gems (light blue) allow you to use certain gifts in the middle of the puzzle which provide extra bonuses. Each puzzle has a limited number of moves that you’re allowed to make. Running out of moves before reaching the target “affection” level (which increases with subsequent dates) will result in you failing the date. Successfully completing the date will reward you with a decent sum of money and more importantly, greater admiration from your future waifu. Once you successfully date a girl 3 times, the game allows you take a girl out at night , which results in… Yeah.

Unfortunately, the game never really gets deeper than that. Yes, you can buy food, drinks and gifts for the girls, but there’s no challenge to this as each girl’s favourite foods and gifts are not only listed in their profile but also indicated with a star or heart next to the item in the store. The getting-to-know-you portion of the game never really offers anything challenging or original compared to any other dating sim ever. On the other hand, the simple-yet-addictive puzzle portions of the game do provide some value in breaking up the monotony of scrolling through lines of cringeworthy-but-hilarious dialogue.

[h1]The “plot”[/h1]

I imagine anyone reading this review will understand that there’s a huge different between a “story” and a “plot”.
Honestly, I was actually surprised at just how graphic some of the depictions of the girls were. I’m not even sure if I’m allowed to talk about it here. If Steam reviews censor swearing, then they’re probably not going to be happy with me talking about pictures of naked anime girls bent over and dripping semen from their nether regions. In a weird sense, I think I’m legitimately too old for this stuff now. I’m sure an 18-year-old virgin might feel differently though.

Then there’s the other major thing that differentiates this title from Hatoful Boyfriend – The absolutely hilarious voiceovers. Seriously, the dialogue in this game is golden and the voiceovers are spot on. I really wouldn’t want it any other way.

[h1]Overall impression[/h1]

Honestly, I enjoyed this game because of just how incredibly hilarious and inappropriate it was. The puzzle sections of the game were a fairly welcome addition to the genre and helped to keep the game more engaging and challenging than its contemporaries. A word of warning though – you will be judged by your Steam friends for playing this game. Whether you choose to proceed despite that is up to you.
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Idiotic Indie Impressions - Public Group
Where the Hotdog Bitchface reviews indie games like an idiot.
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Recent Activity

128 hrs on record
last played on Apr 24
0.2 hrs on record
last played on Apr 8
0.2 hrs on record
last played on Apr 8
Jhzanto Jan 10 @ 8:10am 
51 days you've been offline. You okay??
Neyo ๑ﭥ Aug 2, 2016 @ 11:59pm 
Can you do 4 CSGO keys for CSGO gift?
¡ HoMM | btckeys.net Jun 6, 2016 @ 3:59pm 
http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198304840463 on your friendslist is an impersonator & scammer. (lvl 100 & 40 mutual friends wtf...) Please immediately report+remove+block ty <3
frost / selling last page Mar 6, 2016 @ 12:02pm 
added to trade
BoonMcNougat Mar 4, 2016 @ 6:13am 
Let's street fight ya hotdog faced bitch
Mahskie Jan 8, 2016 @ 3:43pm 
I cannot take you or your reviews seriously with that name, I just can't.