Hey george,

I stumbled upon your Steam profile and had to do a double-take. Are you sure you're not using a potato instead of a controller? Your gameplay is like watching a toddler trying to figure out a Rubik's cube – frustrating and utterly confusing. I mean, do you even know which end of the gun is supposed to point at the enemy?

Seriously, I've seen snails move faster than your reaction time. It's like you're playing in slow motion while the rest of us are in warp speed. And don't even get me started on your accuracy – I've seen blindfolded archers hit their targets more consistently.

Look, I get it, not everyone can be a pro gamer, but you're setting a new low bar here. It's time to either step up your game or stick to something more your speed, like solitaire. Maybe then you won't embarrass yourself – and us – in every multiplayer match.

Consider this a wake-up call before your gaming reputation hits rock bottom.

Sincerely,
eros

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