they call him fresh cuz he aint stinky

N uclear
I ntercontinental
L aunch
S ystem

It was a windy October day. He awoke and stared at the mirror.
An old, ugly, sad man looked back at him.
He opened a window for fresh air.
"Where did the time go?", he asked himself while attaching his toupee.
"When did my hair move from here..," he looked at his head,
"..to there?" he stared down at the tip of his penis.
His penis stared back, the wind flowing through its full set of hair.
He put on his shoes and kissed his cat goodbye, sensing it was the last time.
It was a deep kiss.
"I am enough," he lied to himself. "I am worthy," he continued lying. Taking a step outside, he inhaled deeply.
His toupee flew off with the first gust of wind.
Like his dreams, he watched his toupee drift away in a never-ending spiral of destiny.
"This is it," he said. "This is where I draw the line"
Later that day they found his deceased body, a piece of plastic labeled:
"Choking hazard. Small parts. Keep away from children and pets." lodged in his throat.
Visit www.remembering-nils.com

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This dude sucks dong for a living. A real hall of fame dong sucker.
I rate 8/10 on the dong sucker scale.
He even gave me a candy afterwards. 9/10 customer service

McAzzNugget Productions presents: "♥♥♥♥ You 2 - King Kong's Ding Dong"